Well, at least there’s that...

Has anyone ever told you that your pain is minimal? Have they compared your pain to someone else? Let me tell you a story and let’s see if you can hear the ridiculousness of those kinds of comments . I’m a cancer survivor. I still have many side effects from having internal heated radiation and almost 30 surgeries in the past 23 years.  I was having issues with scar tissue.  It was blocking my intestines and there was nothing that could be done.  I had a gastroenterologist insist on doing a colonoscopy, even though I told him he couldn’t do it . It was awful.  He drugged me and did it anyway I was violated . When I woke up he told me how bad the scar tissue was.  I started crying.  It’s hard to survive such a huge event only to know there’s more to deal with   This gastroenterologist told me to cheer up . After all, there were children with cancer??? Cancer is horrible! Why would I feel better knowing a child was suffering like I was. Where is the comf...

Anxiety and seeds ; what does one have to do with the other ? I watched Elevation Church online today. Pastor Furdick talked about seeds and shoes.  Hmmm.  He buried a seed in a pot. When he buried the seed no one gasped , nor did it seem odd. He poured dirt on the seed and again, no one cared. Seeds are supposed to be in dirt. When you’re a seed the dirt is part of the process. Then he took off his white tennis shoes. He started to put them in the same dirt. People yelled, “don’t do it!” Why? Shoes are not made to be inside the dirt.  Shoes are made to walk on the dirt. Seeds are a doing inward work. Shoes are for the outward appearance .  Shoes don’t work without feet.  Seeds don’t work without dirt. Anxiety is often an outward manifestation of an inward experience. Anxiety is something most people bury .  When anxiety builds without purpose  , it produces pain. Elevation talked about what happens when we are under pressure, it hurts.  The dirt ...

 Be free! Ok. What does that look like? Maybe like the photo above? We’ll look into that next.  So. Who’s heard of the “shield of faith?” How many of you have been told to “take it up?” I have. Philippians talks about our “armor “. I've heard it over and over again. People actually depicted it as physically putting on a shield and the Armor of God, but I just couldn’t picture it until today  I thought a shield was a defense weapon. You know, to prevent you from incoming fire. That is true, but what do those darts look like? I mean, wouldn't darts be pretty obvious?  The scriptures say to "quench the fiery darts."  I try to take a different look at scriptures because the reality of them and the "magic, hocus pocus" we've all been taught are so white washed, I just couldn't apply it to my life. It made great "Fairy Tale sense". You know, the knight raises the shield, combats that arrows, puts the shield down and walks away with the girl and t...

 Call to action!  The scripture says that we should be :Wise as a serpent (that sees everything on its belly. ) It sees the dirt, the earth, the obvious. And tells us to be as Harmless (wrong word) as a dove! Doves master what the serpent sees! We’re doing this wrong! Reptiles live a lot longer than birds. Eagles rise! Snakes have had centuries to shed skin and become something else. If we (Eagles) crawl the ground with them, they will always win.  Here’s my call to action. Eagles rise! The view is delusional from the serpents angle. They see everything in front of them. They manipulate their environment from the filth of their own creation.  We’re doing this from the wrong angle. One snake yells to the other “snake “ then laughs .  They laugh because it’s obvious to them .  The Eagles are screaming “snake “ and trying to point those snakes out to other eagles . We’ve been trained to think that if Eagles are aware of snakes others eagles will join the band ...

 I’ve often heard the saying “ keep the peace”. How do you do that? Recently I encountered an unacceptable situation. One person was disturbing the peace of many. It really made me angry.  I’m 1/2 Irish and 1/2 English. For the most part the English keeps the Irish in check. So, I don’t get angry very often.  When I do get angry it’s best to leave me alone. Anyone else?  Don’t try to talk me out of it and certainly don’t try to prove your point.  This particular situation caused me to get so angry that I wrote a complaint and signed a petition. I know, how horrific… not.  I started thinking what does keeping  the peace mean? I had it in my head that keeping the peace meant keeping quiet; tolerance.  I think our world is full of peace keepers that just don’t cause or point out trouble.   My source for reason is always the Bible.  The beatitudes do not say “blessed are the peace keepers” That was a stunning thought. The blessing comes to t...

 This is a picture of my black lab "Daniel" swimming in a lake! So, cool. I always wanted a parrot. They are so fascinating, they talk, they laugh, they make sounds, what could be more fun than that? I found out that some people are just not "parrot people." However, our family was driving down a back street one day and the kids yelled "there's a parrot!" We stopped the car and my girls started calling to the parrot. I guess it was tired of walking, so it got in the car. They were thrilled! I was too. We decided to name that bird "Lucky" because he was lucky we found him. We found where he came from and the owner told us to "keep him". You're kidding! We were all so excited. Lucky learned how to say his name and he learned to whistle and sing and then it got night time and he didn't stop. My husband put a towel over Lucky's cage to make sure he knew it was night. That worked for a while. Unfortunately for Lucky, we didn...

  An odd title, right? I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my relationship with Christ lately. During my contemplation I got a picture in my mind. I hope you can see it as clearly as I did.  I imagined myself in the tomb of Jesus, after the stone was rolled away.  Meaning, that I recognize the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ and I have a very personal relationship with Jesus.  But...I was still inside the tomb waiting for him to come back. It was safe there but it was lonely. I was (am) born again, but I’m standing on the wrong side of the stone. The opposite side of that stone is frightening. There are people there, expectations, responsibility and relationships. I’ve heard these words so many times  “Jesus is enough”.  I’ve written several blogs about my version of those words. However this picture clarified my thinking about the importance of relationships.  After the cross and resurrection, before he ascended to Heaven, he did no...

  Growing up I heard the  exchange between Jesus and (in Mark 10)“the rich young ruler” recounted many different ways. Doesn't the Bible say shortly after this conversation:"How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the Kingdom of God”... Imagine my surprise as I heard a very different opinion in a message today (10/04/20) at Church on the Move in Broken Arrow from Pastor Ethan Vance.  In verses 17-23 the rich young ruler  ran to Jesus. He desperately bowed down at Jesus feet and asks , “What shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” Jesus replied by rehearsing the law, which the rich young ruler already knew.  The man replied , “ I’ve done all of that since I was a child.” (My wording). He wanted more than he already knew. He realized something was missing. I don’t think he realized he was talking to the one who came to bring us what was missing: relationship with himself.  Throughout the years I heard this story recounted with the instructions ...

I have heard the words,, "Consider this"... many times throughout my life, but today I have a different perspective on that phrase. Has anyone ever said anything to you that made you question our own intelligence, your abilities, your talents ,your purposes or even... your purchases? Uh oh! Recently I purchased a puppy.  My "Lincoln" passed away last year (Australian Shepherd). He was the love of my life for ten years. He was a stabilizing force in my unstable world of change.  When he passed away I tried to go it alone. If any of you have lost your best friends you know it's not that easy. Months passed and I brought another shepherd into my home, hoping to find the same temperament, but there was no connection between us. I worked with him and he stopped chewing, became potty trained and even stopped digging. He was 10 months old, so we had some bad habits to break. I could never love him like I did Lincoln. Now, "Captain Obvious" nothing can be repl...

Have you ever had a really nice umbrella, but it had a hole in it? You might not even see the hole, but everytime it rained, you got wet. Is it the umbrella's fault? Nope. Is it your fault? Nope. It's called "wear and tear." I had an umbrella given to me at birth. It was perfectly fine until life started happening to it. The details aren't important. Me saying that it had some holes in it is an understatement. Mine had gashes in it, but I couldn't figure out where the leakage was coming from. People have tried to blame me, my skills as an adult, etc. but I just couldn't buy into that reasoning. I've been going to counseling for over 25 years. I've been taught "coping skills" but they were just bandaids that distracted me from the rain. What I just realized is how the holes in my umbrella affected my family..especially my family. I often thought to myself, "I'm kind and I've done all I could to protect my family....

Hello! This post is not about who is right or who is wrong, Does it really matter at this point? I'm going to give you some examples of things being said and change the subject and  you tell  me if you think it is the appropriate response. My neighbor hasn't mowed his yard this week. I'm going to call the police. I think my neighbor picked a flower out of my yard. I'm going to sue him. I don't want you to be my dry cleaner so I'm going to form a committee to get you removed from my neighborhood. Now, let's get a little more serious. What if I used these words? You are black so I"m going to put you in prison. Would you be outraged at that? I would. Your restaurant serves white people so I'm going to sue you. I believe Global Warming is a problem so I'm going to drive my car to work. I was hired to interpret one language for another, but I don't like the wording so I'm going to tell the people listening what I want them to...

I've been pondering this question for a long time. I bet most of you have as well. Sometimes it comes out as "Why God" did you let xyz happen? What was the point? What about the insanity in the world today? It's really hard to cope with all of it and try to picture God in the midst of it. I've discovered through a lot of prayer and research that God does not always get his way. If he did, there wouldn't be sin in the world and we would all still visit with him face to fact in the Garden of Eden. It's hard to comprehend that the will God gave us is so powerful that we can screw things up this badly. Whether Saint or Sinner, this world is a mess. All of this thinking led me to one question. "Where is hope?" How can I hope for good things if He isn't in charge? They myth that God is in control is simply a comforting thought. He will have the last word, but it isn't happening right now; babies still die, good people still get cancer,...

Being as I call, a "professional Christian" throughout my life I've been led me to believe some pretty strange things about celebrating my own life. "Everything has a reason", "Praise God in the midst of the storm," "Praise God for the storm",  I was born into a Pentecostal Holiness church, then we were in a Assembly of God church (thank God for the ability to wear pants!), then we went to Lutheran, then "multi denominational" church to a "non denominational church"  There wasn't a lot of stability nor time for healthy transition throughout all of that change. I've been in therapy for .... quite a while. I've been trying to figure out who I am, who God is and what does God want from me? Part of my therapy has been writing this blog. It doesn't matter to me who reads it. I am merely taking a math test and showing my work. We all gather our personal reality from many sources; parents, extended family, p...

I've heard this scripture so many times, but it never really took on any profound meaning until my devotional time today. I have been doing a lot of research on "agreement" and "I am" statements.  Everything we are drawn to in our lives starts with an agreement. I am not speaking of trauma, or tragedy. Nobody wishes those things upon themselves. I am talking about your "I am" statements. Jesus absolutely knew who he was, but he asked the questions anyway. 1) "Who do men say that I am?"  Was Jesus looking for affirmation? No. You can't get any more affirmation than a dove descending from Heaven saying "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased". Then he asks  2) " Who do you say that I am?"  Since I've been delving into my "I am" statements I started wondering if it was possible that Jesus wanted to hear his disciples 'You are" statements to see how connected t...

Nothing political here...Just some thoughts. Hi Everybody! It's me! I've kind of been on a silent vacation. I've been doing battles in places I had no place being. Yes, I know, same word, twice....lol! In this silent vacation I had some very deep insights and I'd like to share them with you. 1) God is still God! The news has been unstable, just don't know who or what to believe anymore. Do you feel that way too? At first I thought I was just "staying informed." But today I realize I've been staying anxious. Anybody else? I've been experiencing supernatural events lately. Well, I am a supernatural event...I'm still here! I saw the movie "Break Through" last week. I believe in those kind of miracles because I am that kind of miracle. Choose any of my blogs about car accidents or cancer, etc...you get the idea.. So, what is that supernatural news? This will blow your mind. People have tried to explain "waiting on God...

So much has been written about purpose. It's all good. The Purpose Driven Church/ life , etc. Awesome and inspiring books. It sounds so wonderful. "Find your purpose and your life will matter." Hmmm....Let's take a look at some people in the Bible that knew their purpose and what it cost them. Let's start with King David. He knew when he was just a young boy that his purpose was to be a King. Did he start announcing this? Did he run an ad campaign to make sure he got the popular vote? Nope, he went back to shepherding, then onto bear and lion slaying, then onto giant slaying...then running for his life, then becoming king, then having a man murdered...oh  my gosh! Does the Bible say anywhere...anywhere that to know your purpose is to be successful? I've been listening to "Elevation Church" and "Life Church". The sermons have been quite unique and eye opening. Trust me, I'm a "professional Christian", meaning that if it...

I’ve had this thought throughout my life. Perhaps you’ve had it too. "This bad thing happened because The Lord is trying to teach me something “. I’d like to challenge that thought.  So God is good, right? His mercy endures forever, His mercies are new every morning “.... Did God put the tree in the garden to teach Adam something? Did Jesus go to the cross to learn something ? Did Paul go to prison to learn something?  You see... it doesn’t make sense. Do we go through stuff because we need to learn something? Well, school is something we go through to learn. Experiences are things we go through to learn.  We grow up and learn to take care of ourselves. Are those things difficult? Yes, they can be difficult. They can give you a sense of almost impossibility . Just try to do Algebra when you are "mathematically challenged". lol Here's a question... are these learning phases meant to put us in danger? Could that be the key question?. Does God put us in circumsta...