Consider this...or not

I have heard the words,, "Consider this"... many times throughout my life, but today I have a different perspective on that phrase.

Has anyone ever said anything to you that made you question our own intelligence, your abilities, your talents ,your purposes or even... your purchases? Uh oh!

Recently I purchased a puppy.  My "Lincoln" passed away last year (Australian Shepherd). He was the love of my life for ten years. He was a stabilizing force in my unstable world of change.  When he passed away I tried to go it alone. If any of you have lost your best friends you know it's not that easy.

Months passed and I brought another shepherd into my home, hoping to find the same temperament, but there was no connection between us. I worked with him and he stopped chewing, became potty trained and even stopped digging. He was 10 months old, so we had some bad habits to break.

I could never love him like I did Lincoln. Now, "Captain Obvious" nothing can be replicated exactly, but there was a "heart connection" that I just did not feel for that dog. So, I trained him and rehomed him with a family that could give him the love I did not feel for him.

I kept seeing a  "face" in my dreams. I would see this animal and I would want him, but it was never right. Someone always had the power to decide whether I could have the animal or not (through pet adoption processes) . There were never any real reasons given, just "he's not right for you." I thought "How do you know?"

I went to the Lord and I said, "I keep seeing that face. I need him, where is he?" 

I had been waiting, crying, hoping: "Lord I don't see how this is ever going to happen." I was so frustrated and with the "Plague" ... I felt trapped. 

The Lord has never spoken to me audibly, but I have sensed His voice in my heart. One particular day I felt like the Lord asked me a simple question.... "What do you want?" I told him two of my requests and felt like he was saying "so, what's stopping you?" He talks to me like that. He wants me to make my own decisions. He gives me the desire, but I have to recognize that desire and walk toward it.

 I went to get my hair cut and I was expressed my desire for the dog of my heart. I was recounting all the frustration I had experienced and said, "I don't know what else to do."  She did... she said, 'Have you tried "Craig's List"? I'm thinking "are you crazy, of course I haven't." Guess what I did when I got home? I looked on Craig's list. I listed the breed I was looking for and get this...the very next day I brought Daniel home.

Then this happened.... I got a note from a special lady who did not know the process of my decision making, but she knew the status of my yard. She felt comfortable enough to tell me that getting Daniel was a bad idea. She didn't know the bond I already had with him. She didn't hear me talk to the Lord about him or even see the steps I'd taken to make sure this was a good fit. However, I did something....I considered it. 

You see, my own reasons weren't enough to convince me that my decision was a healthy one. That one question brought back all my doubts and concerns about my ability to make healthy decisions.   "What did  I do????"  I prayed. You know what I felt in my heart? "Don't change a thing." I could not leave it at that. I had "considered" the words of another and tried to determine if they were wiser on more in tune with my life than I was. Even after I decided that person did not know the destiny for Daniel or myself I considered it. I dwelt on it, I tried to figure it out, I tried to rationalize... It wasn't worth it. I had already made my decision and questioning my own decision making process was an old pattern that needed to be changed in me. 

So, the test. Was I going to consider that someone else knew more about me and my life than I did? Was I going to decide that I could not make good decisions for myself? Or was I going to go with that "still small voice" in my heart that basically said "It's time! Go for it!"?

You'll never believe this, but I considered it. Why did I do that? First of all, it was an old habit. The structure of my thought process was never cemented in the fact that I knew what was best for me. I always believed, "Other people know more than I do." Now, see that's a partial truth. Dr's know more about medicine than I do. Lawyers know more about law than I do, but neither of them know more about me than I do.

My words to you are "Don't consider it". If you have made a decision based on facts and your own heart, don't question your decision. Again, if you have based your decision on who you are and what you want and it is ethical and positive decision, don't give another person the power to make you "consider". 

Daniel and I are on a steady course to a healthy relationship. Is it an easy process? No, but whoever said things would be easy was lying. 

Be well!!!!