What did you name your parrot?

 This is a picture of my black lab "Daniel" swimming in a lake! So, cool.

I always wanted a parrot. They are so fascinating, they talk, they laugh, they make sounds, what could be more fun than that? I found out that some people are just not "parrot people." However, our family was driving down a back street one day and the kids yelled "there's a parrot!"

We stopped the car and my girls started calling to the parrot. I guess it was tired of walking, so it got in the car. They were thrilled! I was too. We decided to name that bird "Lucky" because he was lucky we found him. We found where he came from and the owner told us to "keep him". You're kidding! We were all so excited. Lucky learned how to say his name and he learned to whistle and sing and then it got night time and he didn't stop. My husband put a towel over Lucky's cage to make sure he knew it was night. That worked for a while.

Unfortunately for Lucky, we didn't always sleep at night. When you have smaller children you nap when you can. Lucky figured this out. The moment that towel headed towards  Lucky's cage he started screaming. That was not in the plan.

After a brief time of this we decided to "rehome" Lucky. The pitch went, "he says his name, he whistles, he sings..." Did not mention the screaming part. Lucky moved to a new home and ours returned to quiet once again.

I realized the other day that most of the stuff I say is because I'm parroting it from someone else. So, I decided to "name my parrot".  I said something not so kind about myself and I thought, "who said that to me and why do I believe it?" Then a face came to my mind. I decided to play that scene in my head again only this time I would say what I really thought instead of what I had said to them. It's a great trick, you should try it.

This one memory was stuck in my mind and I wasn't sure who had said it to me, but it was unkind (to say the least). Suddenly I saw the face of the person that said it to me over and over again. "Why in the world do you ... (fill in the blank) so much? " You can enter your own phrase there. I could never answer that question and it bothered me. It was a judgement of my character and I always assumed that the person asking it had much better character than I did. To assume is to make an ass out of u and me. Remember that.

I thought back to the reasoning of the question, why would someone say that to me? What was the context and why was it still bothering me? Those are good questions to ask your parrot. I looked back at the situation and at the time I'd been diagnosed with cancer, given six months to live, and told that I was savable so they would do surgery on the fifth month...I lost my house and had to live with people in a much smaller house in a state I was not used to, without my husband and one of my children. Let's just say it was not the best of times. 

I replayed the situation in my mind and said, "I'm naming that Parrot." I can't tell you what I named it...that's a secret. But I went back to when that moment and when the parrot said, "Why in the world do you....so much?" I answered that parrot. 

As I returned to that moment in time I named that parrot and had a conversation with it. I repeated everything I just told you and said, "that's why!" Then I thought of how I would answer that person today...in my PG version I wrote "None of your business." That felt good. Yes, I inserted an expletive because that's how far the mighty have fallen...

One of the jobs I had was working with older children. The rules were very strict. You could not use any expletives...none. Not even, darn or gosh or anything. I understood their reasoning, but then again, looking back on it I realized that there is a very big difference between an expletive and a curse.

I don't think anyone should "curse". My definition of cursing is to call down a sentence of judgement on another person. An expletive is different. If I stub my toe I'm going to expletive it! "Dang that hurt", etc. I don't have to use foul language, but expressing my pain is not a sin.

That part was free.

My point is this...when you have a memory that is disturbing and you keep repeating it in your mind call it by its parrot name, then address it. You can even use expletives because... nobody is listening. It's you, your piece of paper and God of course and he already knows what you were thinking. He is not surprised.

From now on, I'm naming every parrot I recognize and I'm talking back to it! Parrots will not rule over my life no matter how much they scream when I put the towel over their cage!