Well, at least there’s that...

 “Triggered”.What a misunderstood word.  I had someone tell me they’d been “triggered” because their children wouldn’t do the dishes.  No, that’s “frustrated “ and you can control that outcome. “ Reward reversal”. If they don’t do the work, they lose a reward. No drama, no screaming just natural consequences.  When a person suffering from PTSD is triggered it’s as if someone shot a gun and the person is bombarded by past trauma.  I was in a car accident and nobody from my family came to check on or support me. They actually turned their phones off. Yes, that’s cruel in itself. When you’re a person that’s suffered from abandonment and trauma a situation like that “triggers “ that person to experience every time they were abandoned and in trauma. I said something unkind to my family that I perceived was reality and the consequences were unreal.  They stopped speaking to me and judged me harshly. Which reinforced the anxiety and proved that I truly was abandon...

 I have no idea why I feel so strongly today about disregarding  the ever changing expectations of my world.  Yes, my world.  I’ve spent years trying to give life a “reason” .  The “Whys” are innumerable! The “How’s” are even more daunting. My journey has been inexplicably difficult the past year and more.  I asked myself “How did that happen?” “Why did this happen?” Add one more question to those.. “What?” What do I do, what did I do? So, without reasoning it out,  I came up with an answer that answers none of those questions, but gives me courage to move forward: It just is! Do not misunderstand me.  I am not resigned. I am not giving up. I’m “ unreasonably determined.”  I accept who I am, where I am and am determined to move on to whatever’s next.  I’ve had doubts regarding everything! I do mean everything; Who am I? What am I supposed to be doing? What will go wrong next? Will I ever be healthy? What does a true friend look like? Wha...