Who am I now?
I sit here and color with colored pencils in a book that is called “Happy Place.” It’s a beautiful idea. I can list all my happy places in my life. You know, holding my babies, loving people enough to risk my sanity , singing, riding horses, playing the piano…all gone. My babies now have babies of their own, which I treasure, but I can’t hold them as they grow. I can only watch from a distance. I’m still loving people, but I don’t risk my sanity for anyone.., maybe that’s not a bad thing. There were years when I sang in the lights, I led others into the presence , lifting their spirits above the troubles of every day. I think horses saved my life. They asked nothing of me. I went to them and gave them love and watched life return to their eyes. I sang to them and brushed them and when I rode them I was close to heaven. Playing the piano for others to enjoy. Participating in their experience. Giving … Where’s my relevance? My children grew up, people hurt me, I can’t sing be