Trying of faith or test of will?
Survival: I just couldn’t see how God could get any glory by my survival alone. My definition of testimony was: survive and smile while doing it. It just wasn’t working. Everything felt pointless. I was insecure, uncertain that the God I believed in and the God I knew could possibly be the same. I know that sounds strange, but if you believe something just because someone told you about, but evidence says differently...it leads to confusion. There is a song with lyrics that say, “I pray to a God I don’t believe in...” I think it’s called, “Hearts don’t break even.” Anyway, I’ve known God my entire life. I’ve used words like; faith, trust and hope... but something was missing. Some people say it was faith. Some say it’s doubt. Others say that a person isn’t really born again if they don’t know God. Well, that can’t be true. I believed in God, I trusted him with my eternal soul, but with my life down here...not so much. I had little evidence to support what I wanted to believe. Like