Pain is relative

-

Has anyone ever told you that your pain is minimal? Have they compared your pain to someone else?

Let me tell you a story and let’s see if you can hear the ridiculousness of those kinds of comments .

I’m a cancer survivor. I still have many side effects from having internal heated radiation and almost 30 surgeries in the past 23 years. 

I was having issues with scar tissue.  It was blocking my intestines and there was nothing that could be done.  I had a gastroenterologist insist on doing a colonoscopy, even though I told him he couldn’t do it . It was awful.  He drugged me and did it anyway I was violated .

When I woke up he told me how bad the scar tissue was.  I started crying.  It’s hard to survive such a huge event only to know there’s more to deal with  

This gastroenterologist told me to cheer up . After all, there were children with cancer???

Cancer is horrible! Why would I feel better knowing a child was suffering like I was. Where is the comfort in that kind of language?? 

Don’t let anyone discount your suffering. It’s YOUR suffering. No one understands it the way you do. 

Pain is relative.  What causes me to experience pain at a 10 may be tolerable to someone else and visa versa . 

When my ribs were crushed and I had 6 stitches and 8 staples in my head a nurse actually laughed at my tears. How dare she? 

Pain can not be compared !  It’s your pain, you feel it the way you feel it. Own your pain  Cry if it helps. I reported that nurse. I was in a trauma unit and her behavior was uncalled for. I not only reported her behavior for myself, but to spare anyone else from her cruelty  

I defended my pain.  I owned it and I got help for it. Pain is your body screaming for attention .  If you ignore it or minimize it, you’ll suffer more  

Own your pain, attend to it and don’t let anyone minimize your pain.  It’s YOUR pain . They aren’t living with it and their disregard can not fix it.  If you ignore pain or minimize it, it will get worse.  Its job is to save your life. Give it your attention, seek help and refuse to be minimized!

Ignore people that give platitudes and comparisons. They don’t understand and they don’t have to . Forgive them for their ignorance. Be grateful that they don’t understand.  Yes, gratitude is a cure for anger. Have pity on them by knowing in your heart that you wouldn’t wish what your going through on anyone else  Then you can forgive  

I’m sorry for your pain  May health be yours  

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Abuse, codependency and survival

-
Image
 Once I asked a “qualified “ person what was wrong with me? Why did I get hurt so deeply by others? Why did their disapproval of me matter.  “What’s wrong with me?” The answer they gave me was awful. They said I was codependent… what? So I depended on others too much and was clingy to find approval??? They were so wrong. They had no clue what it’s like to survive living with abusers. They’re irrational and combust spontaneously.  You never know what’s going to happen next. So, you live on guard. You have to judge the mood of the room before you enter it in order to survive.  I was also told that I’m a “fixer.”  Yes, I have to fix everyone. That’s also a condition of abuse. If the abuser has a problem, fixing it is the only way to survive another day or another moment.  When a person is abused most of their lives they have to learn how to think differently. Relaxing is a luxury never afforded them. PTSD is very real. So, when someone sneaks up behind you, yo...
Read more

I believe I can fly, but I’d rather not

-
Image
  https://youtu.be/_6y5bgrKhLI?si=okhqwhA-CR5EyA80 I love this song.  I believe I can fly, but I’d rather not.  Have you ever dreamt that you were flying? Did you try to fly when you were a child? Did you jump off a roof (I don’t recommend it) to see if you could fly?  Me too! Let me tell you about one of the times and hopefully the last time I flew.  It was a sunny day and all was well. I had a job as a tram driver. I was so excited!  I’m limited to what I can do when it comes to working. This seemed like the perfect job for me. I'd drive a truck pulling a tram in circles.   The venue I was working for had a concert that night. I was thrilled. I’d be doing something I enjoyed.  Plus I’d get to hear the concert. I had already made a couple of friends, so I was feeling really good.  The employee parking lot wasn’t finished yet. The venue was a work in progress. I was asked to take a golf cart down a hill and bring employees up the hill. I...
Read more

Make Church Great Again!

-
Image
   Make Church Great Again   I’ve given this subject a great deal of thought. The Church is supposed to be an institution, a safe haven, a light house, a refuge for the broken. There must be places that still believe in those concepts, aren't there? Is there still room for the broken at church? I'm going to take you through the journey of an individual that went to “church,” searching for the Biblical aspects of The Church. Throughout her journey I'd like you to ask, "What can the church do differently?"   Angie has just experienced a life altering change. The people that she cared for, the people she gave her life to care for, have just rejected her. She literally has no one, so, she goes to church. Her prayer is that she will find comfort, let’s see if she finds what she’s looking for. Here’s her story:  " I can’t believe that my family has rejected me again. I have no idea what they think I’ve done. I guess I have to start over one more time....
Read more