Well, at least there’s that...

If you refer to “yarn the fabric of life” you’ll know what I’m talking about. I discovered where to pull the yarn from so it doesn’t end up being a ball of mess. Yes! I conquered yarn...until. One day I was close to the end of the .... I don’t even know what to call it... bolt? String? Strand? Anyway you get my drift. I decided at that point it really didn’t matter where I pulled the yarn from. After all...there wasn’t much left. Wrong! While I untangled the mess I found something I’d been looking for. I turned on YouTube and Elevation Church was having a service. The series was entitled, “Maybe God?” He was talking about when your phone shows a text from somebody and it says “maybe;?” I had a friend tell me that even though she has me in her “contacts” list, whenever I text her it says “Maybe Barjeana “. Well how many Barjeana’s do you know? That’s what I thought. I only know of one... me! His perspective really caught my attention. The sermon was not a “self help” or “motivational

I’ve had this thought throughout my life. Perhaps you’ve had it too. "This bad thing happened because The Lord is trying to teach me something “. I’d like to challenge that thought.  So God is good, right? His mercy endures forever, His mercies are new every morning “.... Did God put the tree in the garden to teach Adam something? Did Jesus go to the cross to learn something ? Did Paul go to prison to learn something?  You see... it doesn’t make sense. Do we go through stuff because we need to learn something? Well, school is something we go through to learn. Experiences are things we go through to learn.  We grow up and learn to take care of ourselves. Are those things difficult? Yes, they can be difficult. They can give you a sense of almost impossibility . Just try to do Algebra when you are "mathematically challenged". lol Here's a question... are these learning phases meant to put us in danger? Could that be the key question?. Does God put us in circumsta

Have you ever thought of how profound the Bible is? For example. The shortest scripture is “Jesus wept”. Think about that for a minute. If Jesus was all God and all man... does God weep? When I’ve thought of God I have imagined a stoic being; full of confidence and power and sometimes even angry. I have been studying the personality of Jesus. I always thought emotions were "a problem." Like they were some kind of weakness. Are they simply a weakness? Do they appear out of nowhere for any reason? I used to think that emotions just “snuck up” on people. You know, someone just busted out crying for no apparent reason. They can be like that. If your emotions are not inline with your physical being or mental status. That's a whole other story... Who do I think made emotions? Have I thought that the devil was the author of emotions? I’ve heard preachers say that we should not be ruled by our emotions. I understand that to a degree, but as with everything there are extreme

This is not a political opinion. These are statements of fact. Please share this information so women can make an informed decision regarding a very private matter. I’m talking about abortion. I’m not talking about right or wrong. This has nothing to do with the freedom of choice. I do not intend to preach a sermon. My goal is to enlighten you to information you may not hear from someone else. I understand the male perspective on abortion. Men often see a child as a burden, an interruption in their goals and plans. It’s easier for a man to walk away from an abortion. But a woman... it’s a very different story. A man can not feel that baby move inside them. Men can not comprehend the side effects of an abortion. What do I mean about side effects? I’m not focusing on physical reactions. My focus is to inform you of what happens to most women after an abortion. I heard one Dr say that it was like “water under the bridge”. It passes, it happens, it’s over. Or is it? I have spoken

Some people wait a lifetime to find their "niche". Do you know how I know? There's a song about it. "A moment like this." by Kelly Clarkson. I've tried a lot of things to find my "niche".  I create art, in hats headbands and even teddy bears, but I just couldn't fine "IT!" People say that the thing you were born to do is right in front of you. Nope, I tried  many things, they weren't my "niche". Tonight, I think I found it. If you read my blogs "Domestically Challenged", "Where Did I put the Potatoes?" and "What did the tomatoes say to the burnt beans?" You will see that cooking has NEVER been my thing. I don't really know why? It makes me very nervous. Growing up my mother and sister spent their time cooking and they would sweetly look at me and say, "Why don't you set the table?" Okay, that worked. Then I got engaged and I said, "here's the deal. I don

Cooking... (again). You know I can't make this stuff up. Here we go. I was using my "air fryer". I watched a video on YouTube. What could go wrong? I paid close attention, I sprayed the oil on after I put the chicken legs into the basket, I turned them every few minutes and they turned out wonderful. So, what's the problem, right? Well, I also made mashed potatoes. They smelled amazing. They looked amazing and I was so excited.  I also like to clean up while I'm cooking. It makes for a lot less mess. I'd finished the potatoes and was waiting to serve dinner so, "Hey, why not clean the floor up?" It  also a good time to rinse the dishes and prep them for the dishwasher. Doesn't it sound amazing? So, after I  finished up the floor and the chicken was ready and the potatoes were ready...it was time to serve dinner.  I started looking for the mashed potatoes. Where did I put them? I mean, I saw the pot I boiled them in, then the pot I had r

Isn't that an odd question to ask? I've discovered something very real about myself and my relationship with God. I've "expected things" of me. Yes, you read that right. I have expected me to be "perfect"....no not in the way that you may imagine, but in the way that I am "supposed to be".  Growing up in Church was both good and bad....please do not jump to a conclusion until you've read the whole story. The good part is that I got to know Him, the bad part is that I got to know Him through the lens of other people's visions of Him. Stick with me, it will all make sense. I had a vision tonight as  I was with some ORU students and we were worshiping God with a group from "The Upper Room". You can find them on YouTube. They just worship the Lord. I bet we probably sang three songs in three hours? Nobody noticed. There was silence and there was shouting and there was...Jesus. In my vision I saw a group of children in the

“Does anybody know what time it is?”  I’ve heard that song by “Chicago” and thought “look at your watch  already”. Lol. Today I’ve been considering  looking at that question with a new perspective: now and later. We all understand that there are seasons in life. It’s pretty obvious. But what about time? For example I realize that it’s time to get out of debt. Why? Well, in all reality there will come a time when I may be unable to work. I need to recognize and prepare for that time.  Let’s say that I have 10 more years to work. That means I have ten years to get out of debt and prepare for the next season . When I was raising my children it was time to prepare them for their futures and to meet their current needs. It was time  to prepare them to meet their own future needs. Did I do it perfectly...lol. Now that’s funny. Do you know one thing I realized today ? It’s always “ time” for relationships. If we don’t make time for people, our lives will be void of  people in the futu

Don’t you just love how my brain works? I’ll tell you this. It’s much better to laugh than to lay down in the dark crying. So here’s a little secret.  Do you know why I know so much about depression, PTSD and anxiety disorders? The enemy of our souls likes to pin us down with “labels”. So my label has yellow caution tape that says,” depressed, PTSD, anxiety disorder, asthmatic, allergic”... you get the idea. I could walk around wearing the label “broken , unlovable...” To be honest with you, sometimes the unkind labels pop up out of nowhere and try to define me. People have asked me “why don’t you cook?”  I usually say that I play the piano instead. Or that I don’t like to cook.  Want the truth? Cooking causes me great anxiety.  Cooking for other people is a high anxiety trigger. Have I let it stop me? Yep. Pretty much. So. God sent me a roommate. Yes he does that kind of stuff. I’ll explain later. But in order for me to have healthy food to eat and not run screaming (lol) ou

Have you ever felt like this? You've fought for other people and now you need someone to fight for you, but you don’t see anyone? I was thinking about the people in the Bible that came to Jesus with that kind of honesty. They were people who were willing to do what they could but they couldn’t meet their own needs The man at the pool of Bethesda. Jesus asked him if he wanted to be well. How do I know that he’d done all he could do? It wasn’t doubt that caused him to answer Jesus by saying,”yes, but I have no one to help me.” You see the man only knew of one kind of help. He knew that when the angel stirred the water people got healed. So, he did what he could do. He got as close to the water as possible. Do you realize that Jesus did not rebuke the man by saying, “ well if you had more faith you could get to the pool by yourself!” Sometimes we hear the scripture that way, or at least I have had the underlying thought that Jesus was unhappy  with what the man was doing. Now that