Well, at least there’s that...

 I've lived a life of "I told you so's". What I mean by that is people have always told me what I needed. Television offers to sell me what I need...whatever that is. I was told that I needed an education...check... I needed to get married...check....I needed a good job...check...I needed to be the best mother on the planet...not so much...check....I needed to be a good wife....not so much ...check...I needed to follow the rules...check...I needed to practice my music...check...I needed to give to those less fortunate than myself...check... I needed to try harder (anybody know what that means?)...check...I needed to unleash my creativity....check....I needed to get a dog...check....now next comes the tricky part. Here is a list of the things I'm not supposed to need: Someone to take care of me, someone to have fun with. I don't need to work outside, I don't need to work too hard, I don't need to go sky diving or zip lining or ride a four wheeler..

Merry Christmas! Last time I talked about depression. This time I want to talk about Christmas. It may be in a way you've never heard before, so prepare for a surprise. Most of us have heard the "Christmas Story", but how many of us have thought about the secret plan of God and all the restraint it took God to pull it off. He snuck a Savior into the world. He was so excited about it, but he couldn't tell anyone. Well, he did tell some "Wise Men." He also went into the fields and let the angels tell the shepherds secretly. The Wise Men were probably a little gullible. I mean, they went to a king to ask him where the New King was being born. Even if Herod had been a saint he would have been jealous or even felt threatened. Since Herod was not a saint he felt those things times one hundred. He was afraid and he was angry. So, he did what most people do when they are afraid or angry....he lied. "Oh, please tell me when you find this king so I can

 Christmas brings great joy but depression often leaves its victim guilt ridden because they can not experience the same joy as others.That's why I titled this. “Wait, it’s only depression “.  Many people see depression as a choice, a phase, an inconvenience.  It's often dismissed, but depression is very real and is a horrible state of mind. Some people do not recover from it. When you experience something for a long period of time it becomes normal. Depression doesn't really go away. I know, there are miracles and medication, but unfortunately we live in a fallen world and when something has a hold on you, it really doesn't want to let go. The same thing is true of depression. It creates pathways in the brain and those pathways becomes more and more "normal".  When you don't feel depressed and you have felt depressed for a long time it's hard to believe that depression won't sneak up on you again. But guess what, the truth of the matter is tha

The past year has been very enlightening. Have you ever struggled with ideologies? Things you just knew were true... so true that they even defied common sense. Got your attention? We’ve all been given advice that we "shouldn’t" do things because they “can cause cancer”. I avoided all of those things and guess what? Got cancer anyway.  Was that my fault? Absolutely not. We live in a fallen world and one thing is certain... we’re all going to die. Don’t you feel better now?  I mean seriously who can live a “perfect “ life? What is “perfect”? I don’t know. For example let’s talk about parenting. If you are a parent then you will probably know the meanings of the words “guilt” and “regret”.  I think those are the two most tormenting words in parental language. “I wish I had or had not done”.  “I thought I taught them better than that” “They are having a hard time and if I’d only done....insert word here... they wouldn’t be going through this”. Guess what? You are both right

Growing up in church was very confusing. I heard the phrase “judge not, lest ye be judged” then outside of the church... no I mean right outside of the church people would be gossiping. I heard people say things like. “I knew he was no good, “ or  “I told you to watch out for her!”  What is that? Are gossiping, judgement and discernment the same thing? There's a fine line between them. They are similar , but not the same. I had a Dr use that term about a medication I needed. One variety made me sick and one helped me get better. They were similar, even in the same “family” but different. I find it interesting that margarine is said to be one molecule away from plastic.  We would never eat plastic... see it’s interesting.  Do you know that people will not believe a lie unless there is a little bit of truth in it? Think about it.  The first lie... “Didn’t God say...?” “ Well, let me tell you why...” The rest is history.  The Devil twisted what God actually said and made it into a

Yep, you read that right.  I’ve been bell ringing for the Salvation Army in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Good times! I really enjoy it.  I’ve  been singing throughout my whole shift and have seen great results. I bet you’ve seen your share of “bell ringers” let’s talk about a few. No one was harmed in the writing of this blog!  Ha! Ok. So I’ve seen the “scared to death” br (bell ringer). They don’t make eye contact, they look like they are embarrassed to give out candy. I had one lady hand me the whole strip of candy canes. Almost apologetically. I didn’t take any of them and I gave anyway. I’ve seen br’s stand in the corner , away from the door and basically hide. I’ve seen them sit behind tables as if to protect themselves. Realistically, I can understand their concerns. They are probably introverted souls that have given their time out of love.  Anytime you give with love it’s amazing! I’ve also run into a couple of “hostile takeover” br’s. Nobody is supposed to do this, I mean i

I have heard one particular phrase most of my life. There was even a song or two written about it. One particular song was entitled,”Don’t Give Up on the Brink of a Miracle.” A truly inspirational song with a wonderful message of holding onto hope. But what I want to talk to you about today is not tomorrow’s miracle... today was full of miracles too. Can you think of something you’ve longed for, prayer for, hoped for and now it’s yours? Maybe it was a child, a home, a car, a mate, a dog, a horse... still waiting for my horse.... Just sayin’. I remember trying to get through college. I dreamt of the day that I’d walk across that platform with my own two feet and shake the Deans hand and get my diploma.  Do you know what the Dean whispered in my ear as I crossed the platform? He said, “well deserved.” That was a miracle. When I had my senior recital and needed to sing 13 songs from memory, while standing and I’d had bilateral Bell’s palsy, double pneumonia with lung failure and had b

Thank you for coming back and staying with me during my "figuring things out." So, here's what happened next. I was trying to stay afloat in every way imaginable. I was working my business and trying to go on with what was left of my life. I was absolutely alone. One day, I was driving down a road (and you may have read this before) and my car threw me into a house going 55 mph. Knocked the house off of its foundation and my car was a tin can. The engine dropped and I'm sure that had a lot to do with my survival. If it hadn't fallen, as it was designed to do, it would have crushed me completely. The ambulance and fire department workers worked fervently to get me out of the car. They ended up cutting the entire drivers side of the car off. They tried using the jaws of life, nothing, they tried taking out the windshield, the drivers side windshield, the sun roof, even the door. Nothing. I was trapped by the seat belt and that's all that was holding me tog

Yes, you read that right. Everyone has struggles, but for some there are no words to explain what goes through the mind and body after a horrific event. I'm going to try to put those feeling into words tonight. Not just for myself, but for anyone who has (or is feeling) like I have (or do). Here are some thoughts that run through my head continually: "What was it all for?" "Why me?" "Why didn't you just let me die?" "Did I survive to see the horrors of this world?" "It has to mean something!" Before I was a "Survivor" I actually had many of the same questions. Like "What am I here for?" I bet everyone has had that question come to their mind. It makes sense. There are literally thousands of "self-help" books about purpose. It seems that most of us have no idea what our real "purpose" is. I understand that. Being a Christian I defaulted to the purpose of "Save the WORLD!" &

The past ninety days have been a training ground for Lincoln. He's learned to adapt to my new schedule, which keeps changing. So, we created a routine. IF there's a break in that routine ....let's just say, makes Lincoln a very bad dog. Oh, don't tell him I called him a dog...shhh (he doesn't know). I worked from 3:00pm - 12:00 am for a few weeks. He was not happy, but we worked out a routine. He actually got fed three times a day instead of just two. I fed him when we woke up, I fed him before I went to work and I fed him when I got home. I also left a light on in the livingroom and in the master closet. You know, in case he needed to see his way around. Sometimes I even left HGTV on...with the agreement that he wouldn't try to build anything while I was gone. So, here's what happened one day. I fed him and left on time, but I forgot something. I forgot to leave the lights on. Now, Lincoln has a way to let me know if or when he's upset. This was a n