Stop saying "I Told You So!"

 I've lived a life of "I told you so's". What I mean by that is people have always told me what I needed. Television offers to sell me what I need...whatever that is. I was told that I needed an education...check... I needed to get married...check....I needed a good job...check...I needed to be the best mother on the planet...not so much...check....I needed to be a good wife....not so much ...check...I needed to follow the rules...check...I needed to practice my music...check...I needed to give to those less fortunate than myself...check... I needed to try harder (anybody know what that means?)...check...I needed to unleash my creativity....check....I needed to get a dog...check....now next comes the tricky part.

Here is a list of the things I'm not supposed to need: Someone to take care of me, someone to have fun with. I don't need to work outside, I don't need to work too hard, I don't need to go sky diving or zip lining or ride a four wheeler.. I might break something? Huh? Because it's dangerous...gotcha!

Do you see how the things I need, then the things I don't need are very similar? I mean, the first part is all about being your best self, starting a family and feeding them at the same time. Check

The second part is about being self sufficient, driven and fully using the gifts given to you...check...

But this is another season of my life and I don't know what to check. Maybe you can help me and all the other single people like me in the world that need something that you may be unaware of....nope , not a check (although that would help) lol!

I've been unmarried for 8 years now. I've given my time and talent and money and love and yet...I feel alone. Alone is not a state of how many people are in the room with you it's how many people in the room "Get" you?

So, I'm going to list my needs and if you're single, please be bold and add yours to the list in the comments. Be brave now because people will know who you are.

Here is the one thing I need now and will always need...a Savior...check.

I'm 56 years old...I've raised three children and now have four adorable granddaughters. I used to have a husband, but that didn't work out too well....after 28 years of trying to "fix" it. Problem: two different people from two different planets trying to live as one person from one planet. Let's just leave it at that. No blame game...what would be the point? Somebody needs to take notes on that part, but that's another story.

So, here are my needs.
1) a true friend that will always (try to) have my back.
2) someone to hang out with..
3)  someone to ride horses with (if I had a horse...which I want desperately...) hint, hint.
4) I want to go four wheeling in the mud with the wind in my hair and dirt on my face...surprise?
5) zip lining.
6)  the beach.
7) a vacation...to the beach, to go zip lining, and ride a dune buggy oh and ride a horse in the water...that's amazing! Done it once...amazing!


Do you notice one thing that connects all the dots? It all starts with number one. I need a true friend that will always (try to ) have my back and who likes to do all those things with me just because they like being with me.

Do you know how hard that is to find? Well, let me tell you what I've done about it. I've joined churches, life groups or whatever you want to call them, I've participated in every worthy cause I can find and even created a few of my own. I tried internet dating...WHOLE OTHER SUBJECT... I tried a "dating service"...WOW! The dating service wanted to sell me dates at a discounted rate of $350.00 per date! Not kidding.

I listed every one of my needs on my application and guess how many dates met those qualifications? Well, one, but he literally disappeared. Wow!

I don't need to join a club, I don't need to go to bars, I don't need to start drinking....I don't need to get "high".... I've lived through hell....literally and all I want and need is someone to have fun with. Does anybody feel my pain? Am I alone in this?

You see, I got married and did all the things I was "supposed to do" very young, but I missed out on meeting my very real, very personal need to be young.

I have friends all over the world, but that's the problem, they are all over the world. I have good friends, but they are married and doing what married people do (argue...lol!) not!

I should have done the things I need now when I was younger, but I was busy doing everything I was told that I "needed to do".

It's hard to find someone in my stage of life who wants to just have fun, be a friend and maybe a lover...eventually...without wanting something other than "just me" in return. Anybody else like that?

I mean, all I have to offer is me. I am warmhearted, kind, gentle, I love to laugh and I love for other people to laugh with me. I love to sing and play the piano and I just want to play outside in the sand (ie....beach).

For some odd reason I got the idea that I wasn't supposed to "need" anybody....nope, just stuff, accomplishments, debts to society...that's just weird. I "paid " a high price just to be on this planet. If you read any of my other blogs regarding my life of survival you'd understand what I'm talking about.

For example: if a Dr tells me one more time that I'm dying I'm just going to laugh. 'Nough said!

So, is there anybody out there that is self sufficient, done raising their children, wants to "play outside",  doesn't drink or smoke and only wants to have sex after they are married? Anybody?

So...now you know. I don't need flowers at my funeral, I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me, I don't need anyone to sacrifice for me....Love, the worlds most used four letter word.

So, if you have single friends...the best gift you could give them is a good memory. Well, matter of fact the best gift you could give anyone (besides Christ) is a good memory.

This year I gave gifts to different parts of my children and grandchildren. I gifted their imagination with tools to imagine with, I gifted their individuality with things that reminded me of just them, I gave them hugs and phone calls and FaceTime and laughs and giggles and their first night sleeping away from mom and dad. I couldn't buy any of that. I created it.

So, right before "Tis the season to be jolly" remember the things people need... if you don't know what that is...just ask. Maybe they'll be brave enough to tell you like I just did.

So here's my true Christmas greeting..".Memory Christmas"....and may all your dreams breathe life and become realities.