How to help a triggered person.
“Triggered”. One of the most overused words. I had someone tell me they’d been “triggered” because their children wouldn’t do the dishes. No, that’s “frustrated “ and you can control that outcome. “ Reward reversal”. If they don’t do the work, they lose a reward. No drama, no screaming just natural consequences.
When a person suffering from PTSD is triggered, it’s as if someone part of past trauma has resurfaced and the person is bombarded by the feelings of said trauma.
A friend of mine was in a car accident and nobody from their family came to check on or support them They actually turned their phones off. Yes, that’s cruel in itself. When you’re a person that’s suffered from abandonment and trauma a situation like that “triggers “ that person to relive every time they were abandoned. My friend went into a trauma response and assumed the families response was the same as they’d experienced previously.. They stopped speaking to my friend and gave her no grace for her triggered response. Which reinforced the anxiety and reinforced the belief that they truly were abandoned.
If a person hasn’t experienced Chronic Post Traumatic Syndrome, they usually have no clue how to help their loved one. What my friend needed was compassion, understanding and a hug.
I ask that we educate ourselves to understand the difference between “triggered” as being upset or angry and “triggered “ as being shot back into past trauma.
We need each other to get through these events. If a person could get through the experience on their own, they would have by now. Please don’t isolate or run from the trauma. People in your inner circle don’t need to feel sorry for you, nobody needs that. You need people that will cherish you through the event, have thick skin and know that what you’re feeling has little to do with them and everything to do with past trauma. If they can’t understand, that’s ok. All the person needs is compassion.
Be ye kind one to another… especially when a person is truly triggered.
Comments