The children

 Merry Christmas! 

This is Daniel, my Super Service Dog! We wish you a Merry Christmas and a whole and healthy new year. 

I’ve had some very challenging years in my life, but I don’t think they’ve been as constantly challenging as 2022. 

I hope 2023 has a theme of healing, health and prosperity for all of us. 

For  all that I’ve been through there’s something bigger weighing on my heart this morning.

I thank God for my beloved and kind children and grandchildren.  I’m truly blessed. 

Today I grieve for the children that have no foundation and often have no idea what love or life is about. 

Will you brainstorm with me?  Will you share this post so that we can find a way together?

There are so many children left to raise themselves, they are judged for raising themselves in ways that do not conform to society’s standards. 

I’m taking another look at that standard today. Due to living in survival mode these children have learned  to “cope “ with the unthinkable and this has  pushed them further into what we see as unacceptable behavior.

Imagine with me that you’ve been tossed around from family to family, some good and some unbearable.

Then you  turn 18 and with no skills or foundation are “ aged out” of the only homes you’ve ever known. There’s no one to catch you when they fall and may not have learned any marketable skills to make a living. . You’ve been left to fend for yourself.

Some people judge you for stealing or doing drugs or selling your body and this confirms the rejection.  You  are so full of pain and despair. How do you fill the everlasting silence of day after day trying to find  a way to survive when your choices are limited. You are thrown into the wind with no protection. Not all situations are as dire as what I’ve mentioned here, but too many are.

It amazes me that they find the will to face one more day. What are the answers? How can we help?

I’ve been involved in some group homes and their intentions were honorable, but l didn’t see the underlying problems resolved.  I saw  behavior modification, I saw rules that were given to enter society. 

Many of the aforementioned children have learned to cope and survive and they become excellent at perfecting the image, performing for society, but something  is missing?

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought.  How can we help, really help? Maybe my thoughts are unrealistic, please add your ideas to mine. Let’s try together. 

I recently read a report of a community building a building to deal with homelessness. I was not excited about this plan.  Where are the children going to live while their plight is being discussed?  While well meaning people discuss the problem, these children are still cold, hungry and left to themselves to survive one more day in a place where they continue to steal and manipulate circumstances to make it through one more dark day. 

They will lie, steal and manipulate to survive.  To expect anything else from them is delusional.

Maybe my ideas are dreams, if so, can we dream for then together? Give them:

1) The tools to build a solid foundation.

A) Teach them to have goals. Teach them how to cope and don’t expect them to learn it in one lesson.  They’ve learned to survive and it’s taken years of training to develop survival strategies.

B) teach them the difference between surviving and engaging.

C) teach them to dream and to find ways to help others walk out of this living hell. Empower them to think beyond today and give them purpose for tomorrow.

Unfortunately they are not all savable. But should that fact prevent us from saving the some?

Give them time to dream. Give them a plan to make those dreams come to life.

Listen to them. What skills do they already have to fulfill those dreams? What can they build on? . Give them dignity to earn their own way.

Offer them options. 

A) trade schools 

B) mentoring

C) counseling in groups that can openly and honestly relate to each other with a counselor unafraid to hear the difficult without showing shock or disgust, yet  strong enough to watch for the manipulation that has become a weapon for survival. 

D) help them find a dream, listen to help them find what brings them joy to their lives.  

E) don’t put them in a category 

F) listen to their stories and  give them tools to write a new ending.

G) give them guidelines, they’ve probably had harsh rules, but have they had choices through guidelines and choices ?

H) let them experience the consequences of poor decisions without the world coming to an end. Expect them to make poor choices., until they can comprehend the joy and self satisfaction in making better decisions.

In conclusion… teach them, show them, listen to them and guide them into valuing themselves and others. Empower them to change their world and their circumstances.

What are your thoughts and suggestions? How can we help them change the trajectory of their lives?

How many buildings sit empty while our children suffer in the cold?

What can we do?