Patience is not passive

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Patience has been given a bad rap! Let me start with what patience is not: tolerating bad behavior, accepting abuse, keeping silent when others are overreaching the boundaries you have placed, waiting in denial that something or someone will rescue you. It is not passive. 

I have heard many people say “don’t pray for patience because you’ll get stuck in traffic.” Hmm. So, praying for patience will put me in situations that cause me great anxiety and “tolerating it” gives me patience ??? No, it makes me angry and at that point “patience” becomes my ability to control my anger ? Which leads to another subject : self control, which I will not discuss here. 

So, what is patience? 

Patience takes guts. Let me give you some examples. Training a child does not mean that I get hostile or angry or tolerate bad behavior.  

Patience in this situation requires the ability to communicate in a way that can be clearly understood. Patience is work . 

A child has no reference for right or wrong until given the example or information in a way they can understand and apply that information.

Your life partner does not know your previous experiences nor can they read your mind. Patience takes time. It takes acceptance of the unknown and teaches through experience. Patience is vulnerable.

Patience is not a curse or a method of torture. It’s not about hitting every red light when you drive or being stuck in traffic. Patience is knowing that the red light will turn green and expecting traffic to lighten up eventually.

Patience is not frustration. Patience is understanding that something or someone in your life needs further information and takes the time to teach.

Patience is not living in an abusive situation waiting for the abuser to change.  Patience is accepting the fact that the abuser is making choices that are harmful to you. If that person has been confronted with that behavior and knowingly continues to choose it… patience is learning how to walk away. 

Patience is hard, it’s time consuming.  It does not happen to you (as a punishment) you give it as a gift to those around you. 

May you be blessed with the gift of patience. 

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