What did I accomplish in 2019?
I can sum up 2019 in one sentence. "I don't have to." I"m sure that messes with your mind a bit.
Today is New Years Eve and most people are thinking about what they "should" do in 2020 that they did not do in 2019. Instead I want to look back at the year and see what I don't have to do anymore.
I got it in my head that there was a list of things I had to do in order to be successful. I even had a brilliant definition of the word: Successful. I defined success and achievement as the same thing. So if I "did something" I was successful. I couldn't have been more incorrect. I know a lot of people that accomplish things but are never successful.
Achievements: Something I think I have to accomplish.
Success: knowing how to live honestly.
One thing I took off of my "I have to " list is giving advice. I share my journey, with full knowledge that I don't have all the answers. I have learned to hear what people really need instead of what I think they need. Let me give you a personal examples.
One day a friend called me, she was very distraught. My first response was to "fix it" for her. Believe me I tried. I thought a lot about our conversation later that day and realized that I had not "heard" anything she said. She didn't need my advice.She needed me to listen, give compassion and empathy...human emotions. I didn't realize that emotions are actually a gift.
The Bible clearly validates emotions "Mourn with those mourn...." Romans 12:15 (my wording). If I don't have human compassion, how can I mourn or even rejoice with you?
So, here's my list for this coming year:
I don't have to:
Accomplish anything to be loved.
Allow other people's opinions of me determine my opinion of me.
Have to try to be perfect.
Allow someone's disrespect to cause me to disrespect myself.
Listen to someone who is disrespecting me, my family or especially my God.
I've replaced "I have to" with...I am.
I am respectful of others
I am kind
I am generous
I am loving
I listen intently and am a good friend
I am happy and most importantly "I am loved".
So, I challenge you this year. Do not look back at what you did not accomplish. Look at who you want to be. Your body changes over time. Your hair color will change. Everything that everyone else sees changes faster than we can control it. But you, the real you, is always with you.
So, tear down those "lists" of "must do's" and put up a list of I am. You can't fail at things you are, but you can fail at things you try to do. I never set a weight goal at the beginning of the year, I may set a health goal. But weight is just a part of me, it is not who I am. If I am unhealthy I change whatever is causing the lack of health, if I can..
When I die I don't want anyone to say, "wow, she looked good." "Wow, she kept all her resolutions." "WOW! She went to they gym three times a week." I want them to say things like "you know, there was a time when I really needed a friend and she was there for me." "Remember that time when I was lost and she came and found me?" "Remember that time when I didn't know what to do and she just let me figure it out with a listening ear?" A scale can't create or change those things about me.
So, what do I want to be when I grow up? Successful. I want to live a life that is balanced, hopeful, easy to live and reflects both the simplicity and magnitude of my devotion to my God.
I pray that you have great success in 2020 . I pray that you have joy, peace, respect, courtesy, thoughtfulness, kindness, caring, joy, mercy and happiness. No one can give you those things and nobody can take them away.
Happy New Year! Be you!
Today is New Years Eve and most people are thinking about what they "should" do in 2020 that they did not do in 2019. Instead I want to look back at the year and see what I don't have to do anymore.
I got it in my head that there was a list of things I had to do in order to be successful. I even had a brilliant definition of the word: Successful. I defined success and achievement as the same thing. So if I "did something" I was successful. I couldn't have been more incorrect. I know a lot of people that accomplish things but are never successful.
Achievements: Something I think I have to accomplish.
Success: knowing how to live honestly.
One thing I took off of my "I have to " list is giving advice. I share my journey, with full knowledge that I don't have all the answers. I have learned to hear what people really need instead of what I think they need. Let me give you a personal examples.
One day a friend called me, she was very distraught. My first response was to "fix it" for her. Believe me I tried. I thought a lot about our conversation later that day and realized that I had not "heard" anything she said. She didn't need my advice.She needed me to listen, give compassion and empathy...human emotions. I didn't realize that emotions are actually a gift.
The Bible clearly validates emotions "Mourn with those mourn...." Romans 12:15 (my wording). If I don't have human compassion, how can I mourn or even rejoice with you?
So, here's my list for this coming year:
I don't have to:
Accomplish anything to be loved.
Allow other people's opinions of me determine my opinion of me.
Have to try to be perfect.
Allow someone's disrespect to cause me to disrespect myself.
Listen to someone who is disrespecting me, my family or especially my God.
I've replaced "I have to" with...I am.
I am respectful of others
I am kind
I am generous
I am loving
I listen intently and am a good friend
I am happy and most importantly "I am loved".
So, I challenge you this year. Do not look back at what you did not accomplish. Look at who you want to be. Your body changes over time. Your hair color will change. Everything that everyone else sees changes faster than we can control it. But you, the real you, is always with you.
So, tear down those "lists" of "must do's" and put up a list of I am. You can't fail at things you are, but you can fail at things you try to do. I never set a weight goal at the beginning of the year, I may set a health goal. But weight is just a part of me, it is not who I am. If I am unhealthy I change whatever is causing the lack of health, if I can..
When I die I don't want anyone to say, "wow, she looked good." "Wow, she kept all her resolutions." "WOW! She went to they gym three times a week." I want them to say things like "you know, there was a time when I really needed a friend and she was there for me." "Remember that time when I was lost and she came and found me?" "Remember that time when I didn't know what to do and she just let me figure it out with a listening ear?" A scale can't create or change those things about me.
So, what do I want to be when I grow up? Successful. I want to live a life that is balanced, hopeful, easy to live and reflects both the simplicity and magnitude of my devotion to my God.
I pray that you have great success in 2020 . I pray that you have joy, peace, respect, courtesy, thoughtfulness, kindness, caring, joy, mercy and happiness. No one can give you those things and nobody can take them away.
Happy New Year! Be you!
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