Depression. Don't tell me what I should do, tell me how you did it
Have you ever purchased a product that said its results were "guaranteed?" Well, what does that mean? Guaranteed if I follow your steps, guaranteed if I work really hard? I don't get it.
Do you know the best way to share your relationship with Christ is not by using a Bible? It's through using your experience. People can argue with theories all day long, but they can't argue with results.
Today I'd like to talk to you about depression and how I deal with it on a daily basis. I've been taught "coping skills" they help. Below is a list of "coping skills" that have helped me.
1) Talk to somebody
2) Take a warm bubble bath
3) Read a book
4) Watch something funny on TV or YouTube
5) Take a nap
6) Make sure you eat enough
7) Pray more often
8) Journal
9) Write a Blog
Those are all EXCELLENT ways to cope with depression, but they do not cure depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance... period. It is a way of thinking about things that most people don't understand.
For example: You could say to me, "I love your eyes, but wow! Too much make up!" I would hear "I don't like you." You see, my hearing is affected by my brain and its pathways.
It's often referred to as a "lens." Someone said they had "rose colored glasses" so everything looked amazing in their world. .When those glasses came off through a chemical change or personal tragedy life looked entirely different.
For example if I am tired my thoughts are different than they are when I'm rested. When I'm hungry my thoughts are different than they are when I've eaten. Everything affects everything else. There are no "pat" answers (whoever Pat is). But there is hope.
The part that is the hardest to do is to accept that you have an issue. Another hard part is for others to accept you have an issue and not treat you like you're an irrational maniac who is unstable. You see, depression doesn't make you irrational or unstable. It makes you "hear" and "think" differently. I've been "dismissed" by people who thought I was irrational because they knew that I suffered from depression. Well, if they are correct then how did I graduate three colleges and how am I communicating to you right now? How do I make any kind of life decisions?
When a cancer patient says they are in pain they are believable Why? Because enough people have suffered from cancer to prove that it can be very painful. But if I tell you that depression is painful....where is my proof? Do I limp, or scream in agony if you touch me, do I cough? You see, there's no "tangible evidence" to help you understand the pain a depressed person feels. It's just as real, but it isn't always explainable or even visible.
Remember the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" LIES!
Sticks and stones will cause bruises and breaks that people can see. Words cause wounds that are invisible yet very real. Someone once said that it would be better for their abuser to hit them and leave a mark than to use words that nobody else hears. I agree with that statement.
So, what to do? Well, one of the best ways I've found to get help is to find someone who understands the situation, someone that I can confidently communicate with. It has to be someone who is a good listener, someone who hears my pain, but can objectively say, "I know you perceived that they didn't like you, but what they were trying to tell you was that they didn't appreciate your style." Do you see the difference in that way of thinking? One way leaves you crushed, the other way gives you the choice whether to agree or disagree with the one making the statement.
The one thing depression steals from most people is their ability to choose. Not rational, everyday choices, but to choose the best way to interpret an event or somebody else's opinion. It takes away the ability to separate yourself from the depression and listen with an open mind.
Remember the children's rhyme? (this is horrible by the way) "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I'll eat worms" What? People used that expression to say that somebody who is depressed is "simply feeling sorry for themselves." What does that mean anyway?
Let's get real. I'm sorry I had to deal with cancer, I'm sorry I had to deal with a divorce, I'm sorry I had to deal with loss and grief. But I don't "live" there.
A person who suffers from depression must become aware that depression is the enemy. I used to think if I could just "explain" how I felt somebody would hear me. But I couldn't and they couldn't even if I had the words.
You know the other saying, "It takes one to know one?" That's very true. If you've never raised children do not tell me how to be a good parent. If you've never been sick don't tell me to "deal with it" and move on. The key is to find someone who understands but does not live at that place of depression anymore.
I've started a web sit at https://www.heart-issues.com This site is designed to give people who suffer from invisible illnesses a voice. Someone once said to me "I didn't know you needed to be heard." Well, they didn't understand that being heard was a great way to get better.
If you need a place to read blogs about honest issues or if you need a place to chat in private please visit my site.
Today I wrote about a baby I lost almost 30 years ago. In the blog I talked about a solution I've found to give myself comfort. I created a teddy bear, dressed like a child that I can feel, hold and look at to remind me that child existed. What do you need to see, taste or feel to get past that pain?
I sell bears for people like me, but the intent of my site is to give people a place to be "heard".
Most of the suffering I've done in regards to depression was simply because I didn't know how to communicate my pain or who to communicate it to.
I had a Dr once ask me, "Is this depression physical or emotional?" I had no idea how to answer that question. I knew that there were things in my life that were disturbing me, but when I mentioned them to people who didn't understand they basically just heard "violins playing" a pity song.
Depression is physical and emotional and even mental. There are so many different types of depression. I'll write more about that in another blog. But for now here are some examples: "grief", "loss", "loneliness" "temporary pain," "illness" "hunger, " "anger"....all of these words describe stages of depression. If you notice most of them are "fixable". It's the depression that you can't see, feel, taste, or explain that I will be giving the most attention to.
Please, if you have any questions or suggestions be bold and leave a comment. Depression is not contagious. Depression should never produce shame. It's as common as a cold yet people treat it like a plague.
I suffer from depression. I understand when depression is taking over my thought processes. I have learned to listen to those thought processes to find a solution and to "hear" the truth. It's taken time and I want to help you save the time that I've lost.
What's in it for me? Well, it helps me to talk about it. Hopefully you'll find solace in my teddy bears or visual aids that I present. Will I become rich off of this? Well, although that would be nice...Depression is still a "stigma" and people still find it hard to talk about.
If I were in it for the money, I'd do something else right away..lol. Is this a ministry? Kind of...I'm not a 501 c 3 that has tax benefits, but if ministry is listening and understanding and comforting, then yes this is a ministry.
Stay tuned as I talk more about the various kinds of depression. If you wonder why my "blogs" are all over the place as far as subjects go, there is a reason. Sometimes people need to laugh. Sometimes people need to cry and sometimes they just need to know that they are not alone.
I hope that you'll leave me feedback if this is helping you in any way. I need to be "heard" too.
Do you know the best way to share your relationship with Christ is not by using a Bible? It's through using your experience. People can argue with theories all day long, but they can't argue with results.
Today I'd like to talk to you about depression and how I deal with it on a daily basis. I've been taught "coping skills" they help. Below is a list of "coping skills" that have helped me.
1) Talk to somebody
2) Take a warm bubble bath
3) Read a book
4) Watch something funny on TV or YouTube
5) Take a nap
6) Make sure you eat enough
7) Pray more often
8) Journal
9) Write a Blog
Those are all EXCELLENT ways to cope with depression, but they do not cure depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance... period. It is a way of thinking about things that most people don't understand.
For example: You could say to me, "I love your eyes, but wow! Too much make up!" I would hear "I don't like you." You see, my hearing is affected by my brain and its pathways.
It's often referred to as a "lens." Someone said they had "rose colored glasses" so everything looked amazing in their world. .When those glasses came off through a chemical change or personal tragedy life looked entirely different.
For example if I am tired my thoughts are different than they are when I'm rested. When I'm hungry my thoughts are different than they are when I've eaten. Everything affects everything else. There are no "pat" answers (whoever Pat is). But there is hope.
The part that is the hardest to do is to accept that you have an issue. Another hard part is for others to accept you have an issue and not treat you like you're an irrational maniac who is unstable. You see, depression doesn't make you irrational or unstable. It makes you "hear" and "think" differently. I've been "dismissed" by people who thought I was irrational because they knew that I suffered from depression. Well, if they are correct then how did I graduate three colleges and how am I communicating to you right now? How do I make any kind of life decisions?
When a cancer patient says they are in pain they are believable Why? Because enough people have suffered from cancer to prove that it can be very painful. But if I tell you that depression is painful....where is my proof? Do I limp, or scream in agony if you touch me, do I cough? You see, there's no "tangible evidence" to help you understand the pain a depressed person feels. It's just as real, but it isn't always explainable or even visible.
Remember the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?" LIES!
Sticks and stones will cause bruises and breaks that people can see. Words cause wounds that are invisible yet very real. Someone once said that it would be better for their abuser to hit them and leave a mark than to use words that nobody else hears. I agree with that statement.
So, what to do? Well, one of the best ways I've found to get help is to find someone who understands the situation, someone that I can confidently communicate with. It has to be someone who is a good listener, someone who hears my pain, but can objectively say, "I know you perceived that they didn't like you, but what they were trying to tell you was that they didn't appreciate your style." Do you see the difference in that way of thinking? One way leaves you crushed, the other way gives you the choice whether to agree or disagree with the one making the statement.
The one thing depression steals from most people is their ability to choose. Not rational, everyday choices, but to choose the best way to interpret an event or somebody else's opinion. It takes away the ability to separate yourself from the depression and listen with an open mind.
Remember the children's rhyme? (this is horrible by the way) "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I'll eat worms" What? People used that expression to say that somebody who is depressed is "simply feeling sorry for themselves." What does that mean anyway?
Let's get real. I'm sorry I had to deal with cancer, I'm sorry I had to deal with a divorce, I'm sorry I had to deal with loss and grief. But I don't "live" there.
A person who suffers from depression must become aware that depression is the enemy. I used to think if I could just "explain" how I felt somebody would hear me. But I couldn't and they couldn't even if I had the words.
You know the other saying, "It takes one to know one?" That's very true. If you've never raised children do not tell me how to be a good parent. If you've never been sick don't tell me to "deal with it" and move on. The key is to find someone who understands but does not live at that place of depression anymore.
I've started a web sit at https://www.heart-issues.com This site is designed to give people who suffer from invisible illnesses a voice. Someone once said to me "I didn't know you needed to be heard." Well, they didn't understand that being heard was a great way to get better.
If you need a place to read blogs about honest issues or if you need a place to chat in private please visit my site.
Today I wrote about a baby I lost almost 30 years ago. In the blog I talked about a solution I've found to give myself comfort. I created a teddy bear, dressed like a child that I can feel, hold and look at to remind me that child existed. What do you need to see, taste or feel to get past that pain?
I sell bears for people like me, but the intent of my site is to give people a place to be "heard".
Most of the suffering I've done in regards to depression was simply because I didn't know how to communicate my pain or who to communicate it to.
I had a Dr once ask me, "Is this depression physical or emotional?" I had no idea how to answer that question. I knew that there were things in my life that were disturbing me, but when I mentioned them to people who didn't understand they basically just heard "violins playing" a pity song.
Depression is physical and emotional and even mental. There are so many different types of depression. I'll write more about that in another blog. But for now here are some examples: "grief", "loss", "loneliness" "temporary pain," "illness" "hunger, " "anger"....all of these words describe stages of depression. If you notice most of them are "fixable". It's the depression that you can't see, feel, taste, or explain that I will be giving the most attention to.
Please, if you have any questions or suggestions be bold and leave a comment. Depression is not contagious. Depression should never produce shame. It's as common as a cold yet people treat it like a plague.
I suffer from depression. I understand when depression is taking over my thought processes. I have learned to listen to those thought processes to find a solution and to "hear" the truth. It's taken time and I want to help you save the time that I've lost.
What's in it for me? Well, it helps me to talk about it. Hopefully you'll find solace in my teddy bears or visual aids that I present. Will I become rich off of this? Well, although that would be nice...Depression is still a "stigma" and people still find it hard to talk about.
If I were in it for the money, I'd do something else right away..lol. Is this a ministry? Kind of...I'm not a 501 c 3 that has tax benefits, but if ministry is listening and understanding and comforting, then yes this is a ministry.
Stay tuned as I talk more about the various kinds of depression. If you wonder why my "blogs" are all over the place as far as subjects go, there is a reason. Sometimes people need to laugh. Sometimes people need to cry and sometimes they just need to know that they are not alone.
I hope that you'll leave me feedback if this is helping you in any way. I need to be "heard" too.
Comments