Please, put the cigarette down for a a minute
Well. I’ve found something common to all of us that will or can break us as human beings. I believe this one thing is at the heart of addictions, depression, anxiety, even sickness. It’s very powerful. The sad thing is we all have the remedy. All of us.
We withhold this thing from people and it can break them. It’s broken people who seemed to have everything they could ever want. It’s taken down giants and destroyed kings. But we all have the solution. Why do we withhold it? Why do we set unreasonable expectations in order to give it to someone. Is it worth holding on to? Is it worth hiding? Have you reached a place where the lack of this one thing is breaking you?
The thing is... we can be in a crowd of people, we can be famous, we can be in a family, but without this one thing we are like flowers dying in a garden full of rich soil. We need this one thing. Yet we withhold it from those around us.
What is this thing that breaks a soul , wears a heart down, takes away hope, causes us to stumble? I know you’re thinking this is going to be some “religious “ secret,,, it isn’t. No. It’s very human and it’s avoidable. It’s the cry of every heart. It’s in the lyrics of every sad song. It’s in the tears of every weeping soul.
This thing has a name; it’s name is loneliness. It’s cruel, it doesn’t play fair and somehow many of us suffer from it.
I had an experience recently where this aloneness nearly broke me. I’ve dealt with this tormentor many times. I’ve fought it with all that is in me, but I can’t beat it alone, Nobody can. It’s not picky. You don’t have to be sick to get it. You can’t overcome it by yourself. You can be in a church full of people, a crowd or even in a family and loneliness can separate you and steal your hope. We all need to be needed.
Loneliness has taken many great and wonderful people from us. I didn’t know Robin Williams personally, but I’ve known people like him. They are everywhere. They might be sitting next to you right now or heaven forbid, it might be you.
You see you can be famous , funny, rich, amazing in every way, but loneliness will take you down. It’s not the moment in front of a crowd that takes people down. It’s not popularity, it’s not lack of "having " something. Being busy doesn’t fix it. TV or food or addictions can’t fill it up. I don’t even think Jesus himself can fix this. I’m pretty sure he talked about it when he said things like, “love one another, pray for one another, don’t forsake each other.” We all have the ability to extinguish this all consuming fire.
I’d like to tell you that I have the answer, but I don’t. It’s broken me many times. Even last night it screamed in my ear. It said, “ you are alone!”
It doesn’t mean that people weren’t around. It meant that they were in my presence, but they weren't present. People have tried to tell me how to “fix it”. They’ve reassured me with their words, they’ve even said things like, “if I had more of Jesus I would never be its victim”. But there I was..,alone. I was crying out to God just like I’ve cried out before... many times.
Is God cruel? No! Has he abandoned me? No, he hasn’t. It’s not his fault or his plan for me. But it will break every human soul in one way or another.
It happens at the most inopportune times. It happens when the crowd stops clapping or laughing. The moment in the dressing room before a recital. It happens when a bride prepares to walk down the aisle. It happens in the middle of a sermon, a song, a performance, s speech. The noise doesn’t have to stop, TV, radios, game shows, food, alcohol or even drugs can not fill this void.
Recently I was at work. I can’t be anywhere near the smoking section. But everyone in the smoking section give up a cigarette to walk with me? The answer was no. I walked and I cried out from my soul, when will someone fight for me? When will I matter! What do I have to do to be “worth a cigarette “?
One kind and gentle soul tried to console me. But the words only placed blame on me for my aloneness. It appears that my strength, my convictions, my desire to live a healthy life, my determination to spare others from loneliness back fired on me. Kindness and gentleness, my love, my very existence was keeping me alone.
I cried out, "I’m doing all I know to do?" There wasn’t one answer to my question. I’ve faced these questions my entire life. "When will I be enough? Who will fight for me?"
There have been people in my life that have stood by me, for a while. Then something like “cigarettes” calls them and they walk away. Don’t feel sorry for me... but please feel something.
I accept people as they are. No I don’t “like” everyone. I’m human. I have likes and dislikes. I can love you, but I might not like you. Everybody has this power. We can send money to hurricane victims, we can mourn with those who’ve lost a loved one, we might take some time to sit with someone, but then the “cigarette “ of life calls and we walk away.
There’s been a very important “cigarette “ in every relationship I’ve ever had. It’s the one thing that devalues all that I have to offer.
One person's addiction might be the NEED to be right, or the need to control or selfishness. It can be a temper, an insatiable hunger. Whatever it is, it has robbed me of “friendships”.
Who around you is lonely? Are you? Is it wrong to be needed? Is it weakness or lack of faith to want someone to care that you’re still breathing?
If those are your thought I ask you this, why are there so many people like me? If I had the power to “fix” this I would.
Someone around me was feeling this same aloneness. I offered my ears and my heart. It wasn’t enough. When and how do I become “worth more than a cigarette?” What do I have to do? Who do I need to be?
So I’m a bit lost today. What happened last night to make it better? Someone put down their cigarette, gave me a hug, words of affirmation and one more time I could pick myself up and go on.
This person doesn’t need to give up all of their “cigarettes” for the rest of their life, but putting it down for just a moment...it mattered.
I hope my words stir your soul to just “look around” you. What can you put down, even for a moment to give someone their value? How will you show one person that they matter more than that cigarette “?
How can we help the “Robin Williams” in out lives? When will we admit that loneliness is preventable?
In closing let me say this. As far as my need for people goes.. I do NOT need people to be with me 24 hours a day. I don’t need anyone to give up their “ cigarettes” for a lifetime. Can someone do it for a minute? Can someone put their “ cigarette” down for a minute and walk with people like me?
I have no idea how this will be read. I don’t know if my words will matter. I don’t know if I’ll be accused of feeling sorry for myself. I’m risking it. Why? To tell you that you are worth it to me. I will lay down my need to be right, I will give you my shoulder to shed your tears on, I will give you a hug ... you matter to me.
Pass it on please... Pass around some hope. Give someone that moment that will keep them safe for one more day. And for heavens sake, speak up. Do not live in loneliness. Take a chance to be heard. If nobody responds, try again and again. Don't give up...but somebody...please lay down your cigarette I need to talk and I just can't breathe when you smoke.
We withhold this thing from people and it can break them. It’s broken people who seemed to have everything they could ever want. It’s taken down giants and destroyed kings. But we all have the solution. Why do we withhold it? Why do we set unreasonable expectations in order to give it to someone. Is it worth holding on to? Is it worth hiding? Have you reached a place where the lack of this one thing is breaking you?
The thing is... we can be in a crowd of people, we can be famous, we can be in a family, but without this one thing we are like flowers dying in a garden full of rich soil. We need this one thing. Yet we withhold it from those around us.
What is this thing that breaks a soul , wears a heart down, takes away hope, causes us to stumble? I know you’re thinking this is going to be some “religious “ secret,,, it isn’t. No. It’s very human and it’s avoidable. It’s the cry of every heart. It’s in the lyrics of every sad song. It’s in the tears of every weeping soul.
This thing has a name; it’s name is loneliness. It’s cruel, it doesn’t play fair and somehow many of us suffer from it.
I had an experience recently where this aloneness nearly broke me. I’ve dealt with this tormentor many times. I’ve fought it with all that is in me, but I can’t beat it alone, Nobody can. It’s not picky. You don’t have to be sick to get it. You can’t overcome it by yourself. You can be in a church full of people, a crowd or even in a family and loneliness can separate you and steal your hope. We all need to be needed.
Loneliness has taken many great and wonderful people from us. I didn’t know Robin Williams personally, but I’ve known people like him. They are everywhere. They might be sitting next to you right now or heaven forbid, it might be you.
You see you can be famous , funny, rich, amazing in every way, but loneliness will take you down. It’s not the moment in front of a crowd that takes people down. It’s not popularity, it’s not lack of "having " something. Being busy doesn’t fix it. TV or food or addictions can’t fill it up. I don’t even think Jesus himself can fix this. I’m pretty sure he talked about it when he said things like, “love one another, pray for one another, don’t forsake each other.” We all have the ability to extinguish this all consuming fire.
I’d like to tell you that I have the answer, but I don’t. It’s broken me many times. Even last night it screamed in my ear. It said, “ you are alone!”
It doesn’t mean that people weren’t around. It meant that they were in my presence, but they weren't present. People have tried to tell me how to “fix it”. They’ve reassured me with their words, they’ve even said things like, “if I had more of Jesus I would never be its victim”. But there I was..,alone. I was crying out to God just like I’ve cried out before... many times.
Is God cruel? No! Has he abandoned me? No, he hasn’t. It’s not his fault or his plan for me. But it will break every human soul in one way or another.
It happens at the most inopportune times. It happens when the crowd stops clapping or laughing. The moment in the dressing room before a recital. It happens when a bride prepares to walk down the aisle. It happens in the middle of a sermon, a song, a performance, s speech. The noise doesn’t have to stop, TV, radios, game shows, food, alcohol or even drugs can not fill this void.
Recently I was at work. I can’t be anywhere near the smoking section. But everyone in the smoking section give up a cigarette to walk with me? The answer was no. I walked and I cried out from my soul, when will someone fight for me? When will I matter! What do I have to do to be “worth a cigarette “?
One kind and gentle soul tried to console me. But the words only placed blame on me for my aloneness. It appears that my strength, my convictions, my desire to live a healthy life, my determination to spare others from loneliness back fired on me. Kindness and gentleness, my love, my very existence was keeping me alone.
I cried out, "I’m doing all I know to do?" There wasn’t one answer to my question. I’ve faced these questions my entire life. "When will I be enough? Who will fight for me?"
There have been people in my life that have stood by me, for a while. Then something like “cigarettes” calls them and they walk away. Don’t feel sorry for me... but please feel something.
I accept people as they are. No I don’t “like” everyone. I’m human. I have likes and dislikes. I can love you, but I might not like you. Everybody has this power. We can send money to hurricane victims, we can mourn with those who’ve lost a loved one, we might take some time to sit with someone, but then the “cigarette “ of life calls and we walk away.
There’s been a very important “cigarette “ in every relationship I’ve ever had. It’s the one thing that devalues all that I have to offer.
One person's addiction might be the NEED to be right, or the need to control or selfishness. It can be a temper, an insatiable hunger. Whatever it is, it has robbed me of “friendships”.
Who around you is lonely? Are you? Is it wrong to be needed? Is it weakness or lack of faith to want someone to care that you’re still breathing?
If those are your thought I ask you this, why are there so many people like me? If I had the power to “fix” this I would.
Someone around me was feeling this same aloneness. I offered my ears and my heart. It wasn’t enough. When and how do I become “worth more than a cigarette?” What do I have to do? Who do I need to be?
So I’m a bit lost today. What happened last night to make it better? Someone put down their cigarette, gave me a hug, words of affirmation and one more time I could pick myself up and go on.
This person doesn’t need to give up all of their “cigarettes” for the rest of their life, but putting it down for just a moment...it mattered.
I hope my words stir your soul to just “look around” you. What can you put down, even for a moment to give someone their value? How will you show one person that they matter more than that cigarette “?
How can we help the “Robin Williams” in out lives? When will we admit that loneliness is preventable?
In closing let me say this. As far as my need for people goes.. I do NOT need people to be with me 24 hours a day. I don’t need anyone to give up their “ cigarettes” for a lifetime. Can someone do it for a minute? Can someone put their “ cigarette” down for a minute and walk with people like me?
I have no idea how this will be read. I don’t know if my words will matter. I don’t know if I’ll be accused of feeling sorry for myself. I’m risking it. Why? To tell you that you are worth it to me. I will lay down my need to be right, I will give you my shoulder to shed your tears on, I will give you a hug ... you matter to me.
Pass it on please... Pass around some hope. Give someone that moment that will keep them safe for one more day. And for heavens sake, speak up. Do not live in loneliness. Take a chance to be heard. If nobody responds, try again and again. Don't give up...but somebody...please lay down your cigarette I need to talk and I just can't breathe when you smoke.
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