Just Cheer Up!
I’ve heard some great messages on altitude...yep, altitude. I've heard several preachers say that, “your altitude depends on your attitude.” Anybody besides me ever have a negative attitude?
I guess the philosophy is that your attitude will determine your level of joy in this life. I agree to a point. If I have a bad attitude throughout life I will not only affect my life, but those around me. Isn’t it hard to be around negative people? Yes, it really is. It takes a lot of energy to be around a negative person. So, here’s a question...does it take a lot of energy to be around an overly positive person? Yes, it does.
I guess I’m talking to myself because I keep asking and answering my own questions. Ha! It must be okay because you’re here. Thanks for joining me.
Tonight I was at Life Church and I heard a very real message. He talked about the “sitcom” message. It starts with the characters in a good place. Then they have a defining struggle, then everyone lives happily ever after! I’ve heard many sermons that had the best of intentions, but were often misleading. Do you know that sometimes things don’t work out? Death is inevitable. Death to good things is as real as it is to bad things. Divorce is death of something two people expected to grow. Children are expected to grow up. Families are supposed to grow closer with time. Unfortunately these things do not come with guarantees.
I marvel at products that have lifetime guarantees. I often want to ask, “who’s lifetime?” What does this have to do with altitude? Bear with me...
I’ve been thinking about the effects of altitude on plants. It seems that there are different nutrients present at different altitudes. Each altitude has its own needs. So, if I accept the theory that altitude = attitude then I need to consider that varying attitudes are needed at varying stages of life. Now, I don’t think grouchy is an attitude. Grouchy is a problem....lol.. Contemplative is an attitude, mellow, is an attitude. Thoughtful is an attitude. Cheerful is an attitude. Solomon says there is a time for everything in Ecclesiastes.
Do you know that sometimes the lushest grass grows in the deepest valleys? Do you know that the thickest vegetation grows in the densest forest? What if life is like that? When I lost a baby to a miscarriage, if you had come around me with a positive attitude I may have been very hurt by you.
We need to know what the situation is before we present our attitude. Just like plants, different altitudes need different attitudes. The Bible says we are to mourn with those who are mourning. To laugh with those who are laughing. Well, according to most motivational teaching, that is not the way things should work.
Isn’t it my job to cheer you up when you’re down? What if I tell you it isn’t? What if I tell you that sometimes being “down” is necessary. When I found out I had cancer I was sad. People sent me cards talking about the goodness of God. I even got posters of hanging cats, saying simply, “Hang in There!” Have you seen that poster? If you have you’ll notice that the look on the cats face is not happiness. No, it has a death grip on the thing it’s hanging from.
Sometimes we don’t need more faith, or positive thinking. Sometimes people need an ear, or a hand to hold. I needed someone to tell me that they would be with me no matter what. I did get that from some people, but I also got a lot of cheering up. It didn’t work. There was no joy in cancer.
But the Bible says to “Count it all joy” when we suffer? Well, it says ‘Count it all joy when you fall into varying degrees of temptation because you know that temptation can create patience.” James 1:2. Some interpretations say that means hardships. Why? Aren’t temptations enough? Temptations are difficult. I guess there’s a type of temptation when things get hard.You might be tempted to give up. You might be tempted to give in to the things that want to drag you down.
There aren’t any temptations for good. I mean, I’m not tempted to go out and mow my sick neighbors lawn. I’m not tempted to pass up that last piece of chocolate. Children aren’t tempted to stay out of the cookie jar.
Cancer is not a temptation. Sickness is not a temptation. Why do we expect people to treat ailments like temptations? I don’t have enough faith to get well. Matter of fact, the only faith I may have is so small that it really amounts to nothing until it matures. I mean, the mustard seed is pretty small, but the mustard tree is mighty.
So, I’m not going to count it joy when bad things happen. Nope. But I will pull out some “hope”. I will dig up some empathy. I will offer my ear. I will lend my heart. I will laugh with you, but I will also cry with you.
I want to write cards for the unthinkable events. Like, why aren’t there any cards for “I’m sorry that your child died of an overdose?” “I’m sorry that you lost that baby.” We just don’t want to talk about those things. But those things are very real and they need real attention. “But I don’t know what to say?” Of course you don’t. Nobody does. But please do not take it upon yourself to cheer me up when cheer is the worst thing you could give me. How about words like, “I’m really sorry that happened” “I’m here for you,” “How can I help?” The greatest card I think I could ever receive would simply say, “You aren’t alone.” But it would have to come from someone who meant it. Is that why we have trouble sending cards? What if someone is sick, will we help? If someone needs to cry, will we be there?
In conclusion, own your altitude. Be what you need to be at the moment, There is a time to be angry, there is a time to be sad, there is a time to laugh, but they aren’t all at the same time. Be sensitive to the altitude around you. Have the mentality of grace. Encouragement and cheer are two very different things. Encouragement is like fertilizer to sick soil. It’s like water to dry soil, it’s like breath where there is little oxygen. Cheer can be as empty as a bucket and do just as much good as mud to soaked ground.
Manage the altitude around you. Notice it, identify with it and find out what the need is. Do you need a hand, let me give you mine. Do you need an ear, let me lend you mine. This is not to be confused with self pity or wallowing. There's a difference. Grief needs courage not a sermon. Difficult times need compassion, not judgement. Be sensitive to what is going on around you.
Lastly, oh by the way, that’s preacher talk for, “I have one more thing to say,” I’ve gone to many funerals in my life. I”ve heard and even said some very unhelpful things. Today I realized how unhelpful some of the things I’ve said have been. I’ve said, “Wel, at least we know they aren’t suffering.” How does that help? They can never get better. I will not see them again on this planet. I will miss them. It doesn’t help me to know that they are better off. I want them to be with me. I’m just kind of selfish like that. People, please be sensitive, please use wisdom and for goodness sake, if you don’t have any wisdom, just say, “I’m sorry.” Water the soil with your tears. Mend the heart of the broken with the thread of compassion .
The sermon tonight did not have a happy ending, yet. It’s still in process. Let’s all be more sensitive to the process of those that are around us. Let’s be the “real “Jesus. Jesus NEVER told one sick person to get over it, to have more faith, or to “cheer up.” No, he found out the need and he met it. He brought joy through sensitivity. He brought hope, but gave no condemnation to those having difficult times. Let’s preach less often and live more sensitive. Me included. Validate, comfort and encourage. Don’t try to change the altitude. Adjust to the needs of the situation. But let me say this, “Grouchy never helped anybody!”
I guess the philosophy is that your attitude will determine your level of joy in this life. I agree to a point. If I have a bad attitude throughout life I will not only affect my life, but those around me. Isn’t it hard to be around negative people? Yes, it really is. It takes a lot of energy to be around a negative person. So, here’s a question...does it take a lot of energy to be around an overly positive person? Yes, it does.
I guess I’m talking to myself because I keep asking and answering my own questions. Ha! It must be okay because you’re here. Thanks for joining me.
Tonight I was at Life Church and I heard a very real message. He talked about the “sitcom” message. It starts with the characters in a good place. Then they have a defining struggle, then everyone lives happily ever after! I’ve heard many sermons that had the best of intentions, but were often misleading. Do you know that sometimes things don’t work out? Death is inevitable. Death to good things is as real as it is to bad things. Divorce is death of something two people expected to grow. Children are expected to grow up. Families are supposed to grow closer with time. Unfortunately these things do not come with guarantees.
I marvel at products that have lifetime guarantees. I often want to ask, “who’s lifetime?” What does this have to do with altitude? Bear with me...
I’ve been thinking about the effects of altitude on plants. It seems that there are different nutrients present at different altitudes. Each altitude has its own needs. So, if I accept the theory that altitude = attitude then I need to consider that varying attitudes are needed at varying stages of life. Now, I don’t think grouchy is an attitude. Grouchy is a problem....lol.. Contemplative is an attitude, mellow, is an attitude. Thoughtful is an attitude. Cheerful is an attitude. Solomon says there is a time for everything in Ecclesiastes.
Do you know that sometimes the lushest grass grows in the deepest valleys? Do you know that the thickest vegetation grows in the densest forest? What if life is like that? When I lost a baby to a miscarriage, if you had come around me with a positive attitude I may have been very hurt by you.
We need to know what the situation is before we present our attitude. Just like plants, different altitudes need different attitudes. The Bible says we are to mourn with those who are mourning. To laugh with those who are laughing. Well, according to most motivational teaching, that is not the way things should work.
Isn’t it my job to cheer you up when you’re down? What if I tell you it isn’t? What if I tell you that sometimes being “down” is necessary. When I found out I had cancer I was sad. People sent me cards talking about the goodness of God. I even got posters of hanging cats, saying simply, “Hang in There!” Have you seen that poster? If you have you’ll notice that the look on the cats face is not happiness. No, it has a death grip on the thing it’s hanging from.
Sometimes we don’t need more faith, or positive thinking. Sometimes people need an ear, or a hand to hold. I needed someone to tell me that they would be with me no matter what. I did get that from some people, but I also got a lot of cheering up. It didn’t work. There was no joy in cancer.
But the Bible says to “Count it all joy” when we suffer? Well, it says ‘Count it all joy when you fall into varying degrees of temptation because you know that temptation can create patience.” James 1:2. Some interpretations say that means hardships. Why? Aren’t temptations enough? Temptations are difficult. I guess there’s a type of temptation when things get hard.You might be tempted to give up. You might be tempted to give in to the things that want to drag you down.
There aren’t any temptations for good. I mean, I’m not tempted to go out and mow my sick neighbors lawn. I’m not tempted to pass up that last piece of chocolate. Children aren’t tempted to stay out of the cookie jar.
Cancer is not a temptation. Sickness is not a temptation. Why do we expect people to treat ailments like temptations? I don’t have enough faith to get well. Matter of fact, the only faith I may have is so small that it really amounts to nothing until it matures. I mean, the mustard seed is pretty small, but the mustard tree is mighty.
So, I’m not going to count it joy when bad things happen. Nope. But I will pull out some “hope”. I will dig up some empathy. I will offer my ear. I will lend my heart. I will laugh with you, but I will also cry with you.
I want to write cards for the unthinkable events. Like, why aren’t there any cards for “I’m sorry that your child died of an overdose?” “I’m sorry that you lost that baby.” We just don’t want to talk about those things. But those things are very real and they need real attention. “But I don’t know what to say?” Of course you don’t. Nobody does. But please do not take it upon yourself to cheer me up when cheer is the worst thing you could give me. How about words like, “I’m really sorry that happened” “I’m here for you,” “How can I help?” The greatest card I think I could ever receive would simply say, “You aren’t alone.” But it would have to come from someone who meant it. Is that why we have trouble sending cards? What if someone is sick, will we help? If someone needs to cry, will we be there?
In conclusion, own your altitude. Be what you need to be at the moment, There is a time to be angry, there is a time to be sad, there is a time to laugh, but they aren’t all at the same time. Be sensitive to the altitude around you. Have the mentality of grace. Encouragement and cheer are two very different things. Encouragement is like fertilizer to sick soil. It’s like water to dry soil, it’s like breath where there is little oxygen. Cheer can be as empty as a bucket and do just as much good as mud to soaked ground.
Manage the altitude around you. Notice it, identify with it and find out what the need is. Do you need a hand, let me give you mine. Do you need an ear, let me lend you mine. This is not to be confused with self pity or wallowing. There's a difference. Grief needs courage not a sermon. Difficult times need compassion, not judgement. Be sensitive to what is going on around you.
Lastly, oh by the way, that’s preacher talk for, “I have one more thing to say,” I’ve gone to many funerals in my life. I”ve heard and even said some very unhelpful things. Today I realized how unhelpful some of the things I’ve said have been. I’ve said, “Wel, at least we know they aren’t suffering.” How does that help? They can never get better. I will not see them again on this planet. I will miss them. It doesn’t help me to know that they are better off. I want them to be with me. I’m just kind of selfish like that. People, please be sensitive, please use wisdom and for goodness sake, if you don’t have any wisdom, just say, “I’m sorry.” Water the soil with your tears. Mend the heart of the broken with the thread of compassion .
The sermon tonight did not have a happy ending, yet. It’s still in process. Let’s all be more sensitive to the process of those that are around us. Let’s be the “real “Jesus. Jesus NEVER told one sick person to get over it, to have more faith, or to “cheer up.” No, he found out the need and he met it. He brought joy through sensitivity. He brought hope, but gave no condemnation to those having difficult times. Let’s preach less often and live more sensitive. Me included. Validate, comfort and encourage. Don’t try to change the altitude. Adjust to the needs of the situation. But let me say this, “Grouchy never helped anybody!”
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