The Nineveh project
Jonah was quite a character. Let me tell you his story from my point of view. Refer to the book "Jonah" for details.
Okay, so Jonah is out minding his own business. God says, "Hey Jonah!" Jonah says, "yes?" God says, "you know that town that hates me?" "You mean Nineveh, " Jonah replies? "Yes", says God.
"I hate that place" says Jonah. God says, "well I think I'm going to have to destroy it." Jonah is like, "Yes!" Then God says, "So, I want you to go and tell them I"m going to destroy them." To which Jonah replies, "What? No way!"
God doesn't change his mind, but Jonah thinks he can run and get away from this plan. So, he gets on a ship. He is so confident in his decision to run that he goes into the bottom of the ship and goes to sleep. Talk about denial! The ship hits a terrible storm.
The whole crew looks around and says, 'Somebody has upset their god." They draw straws and Jonah gets the literal "short straw". The crew look at Jonah and say, "Who is your God and what did you do?" To which Jonah replies, "The God of the Hebrews". They respond in terror. I guess they'd heard of Jehovah. Then he says, "I...kind of ran from him." The crew asks him, "so, what are we supposed to do?" Jonah is resigned to his lot in life and says, "Um...throw me into the ocean." Now that sounds really spiritual, but what if Jonah really, really didn't want to go to Nineveh and would rather die in the ocean than obey God? Just a thought.
So, the crew throws Jonah into the ocean, the storm stops and they go on their way.
God had a taxi ready for Jonah: a big fish. I don't think Uber was a thing back then. Anyway, it must have been a three day journey because that's how long it took to get there. In the meantime Jonah gets his attitude right and God drops him off at Nineveh.
God says, "Go tell these people I'm going to destroy them." Jonah says, "OKAY!" So, he roams about in stinky fish clothes (my imagination) telling strangers, that he didn't like...it took him three days to do it too... "In Forty days God is going to destroy you!"
After that, the people of Nineveh get on their knees and ask God to forgive them. This makes Jonah really mad. I can see him looking at them going, "Are you kidding me?" "I just got out of a fish taxi and walked for three stinkin' days to tell you that God is going to destroy you and you're going to ask him to forgive you?"
Read it, this really happened.
So, God forgives Nineveh. That makes Jonah really angry! He tells God, "I knew you wouldn't destroy these people! I knew you would have mercy on them." Basically, "why did you send me and what was up with the Fish Taxi?"
So, Jonah goes up on a hill and pouts. No, really. He basically sits under a tree and says something like: " I told you that you were too nice!" "I knew you wouldn't destroy these people!" "I told you when I was in Tarshish that I didn't want to go and here we are... you spare these people! " "What was the three day fish taxi and the three day walk supposed to prove?" "Why me?" Then Jonah decides he'd rather die. He literally says in Jonah chapter 4 verse 3, " Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” Talk about pouting!" God asks, "Why are you angry?"
Now the human part in me wants to comment and say, "Seriously, why am I angry? You asked me to go to this stinky city, I told you that I didn't want to. You send a fish taxi, then make me walk around the city for three days and then you DO NOTHING!" Really?" Can you hear it?
So, Jonah sits for forty days in his shelter and waits. I guess he thought maybe God would still destroy them. Then God messes with his mind.
He makes a shade tree for Jonah. Jonah is like, "Yes!" Then God sends a plague to the tree and it dies. Then God asks Jonah, 'Are you mad that the tree died?" Here he goes again... He says, "yes. in fact I'm so angry that I want to die!"
So, God asks him, "did you make the tree?" Jonah says, "No". To which God says something like, "then why do you care?"
The last line of Jonah really cracks me up. Here's what it says. God asks him, (in my words) "if you care that much about a tree that you had nothing to do with, don't you think I should care about a people that I made?"
Then God gives his parting remarks by telling Jonah that the he should spare the people of Nineveh because they were just too ignorant to kill. Seriously.
Here's the quote. Jonah 4:11 NIV "and should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left" Bam! Slammed by God.!!! Now tell me that he doesn't have a sense of humor?
Okay, so Jonah is out minding his own business. God says, "Hey Jonah!" Jonah says, "yes?" God says, "you know that town that hates me?" "You mean Nineveh, " Jonah replies? "Yes", says God.
"I hate that place" says Jonah. God says, "well I think I'm going to have to destroy it." Jonah is like, "Yes!" Then God says, "So, I want you to go and tell them I"m going to destroy them." To which Jonah replies, "What? No way!"
God doesn't change his mind, but Jonah thinks he can run and get away from this plan. So, he gets on a ship. He is so confident in his decision to run that he goes into the bottom of the ship and goes to sleep. Talk about denial! The ship hits a terrible storm.
The whole crew looks around and says, 'Somebody has upset their god." They draw straws and Jonah gets the literal "short straw". The crew look at Jonah and say, "Who is your God and what did you do?" To which Jonah replies, "The God of the Hebrews". They respond in terror. I guess they'd heard of Jehovah. Then he says, "I...kind of ran from him." The crew asks him, "so, what are we supposed to do?" Jonah is resigned to his lot in life and says, "Um...throw me into the ocean." Now that sounds really spiritual, but what if Jonah really, really didn't want to go to Nineveh and would rather die in the ocean than obey God? Just a thought.
So, the crew throws Jonah into the ocean, the storm stops and they go on their way.
God had a taxi ready for Jonah: a big fish. I don't think Uber was a thing back then. Anyway, it must have been a three day journey because that's how long it took to get there. In the meantime Jonah gets his attitude right and God drops him off at Nineveh.
God says, "Go tell these people I'm going to destroy them." Jonah says, "OKAY!" So, he roams about in stinky fish clothes (my imagination) telling strangers, that he didn't like...it took him three days to do it too... "In Forty days God is going to destroy you!"
After that, the people of Nineveh get on their knees and ask God to forgive them. This makes Jonah really mad. I can see him looking at them going, "Are you kidding me?" "I just got out of a fish taxi and walked for three stinkin' days to tell you that God is going to destroy you and you're going to ask him to forgive you?"
Read it, this really happened.
So, God forgives Nineveh. That makes Jonah really angry! He tells God, "I knew you wouldn't destroy these people! I knew you would have mercy on them." Basically, "why did you send me and what was up with the Fish Taxi?"
So, Jonah goes up on a hill and pouts. No, really. He basically sits under a tree and says something like: " I told you that you were too nice!" "I knew you wouldn't destroy these people!" "I told you when I was in Tarshish that I didn't want to go and here we are... you spare these people! " "What was the three day fish taxi and the three day walk supposed to prove?" "Why me?" Then Jonah decides he'd rather die. He literally says in Jonah chapter 4 verse 3, " Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” Talk about pouting!" God asks, "Why are you angry?"
Now the human part in me wants to comment and say, "Seriously, why am I angry? You asked me to go to this stinky city, I told you that I didn't want to. You send a fish taxi, then make me walk around the city for three days and then you DO NOTHING!" Really?" Can you hear it?
So, Jonah sits for forty days in his shelter and waits. I guess he thought maybe God would still destroy them. Then God messes with his mind.
He makes a shade tree for Jonah. Jonah is like, "Yes!" Then God sends a plague to the tree and it dies. Then God asks Jonah, 'Are you mad that the tree died?" Here he goes again... He says, "yes. in fact I'm so angry that I want to die!"
So, God asks him, "did you make the tree?" Jonah says, "No". To which God says something like, "then why do you care?"
The last line of Jonah really cracks me up. Here's what it says. God asks him, (in my words) "if you care that much about a tree that you had nothing to do with, don't you think I should care about a people that I made?"
Then God gives his parting remarks by telling Jonah that the he should spare the people of Nineveh because they were just too ignorant to kill. Seriously.
Here's the quote. Jonah 4:11 NIV "and should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left" Bam! Slammed by God.!!! Now tell me that he doesn't have a sense of humor?
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