It’s really none of my business, but!
I heard someone say something very profound today. “Your opinion is none of my business.” They were talking about aggressive hearing. In other words, listen intently, but also protect your heart. Never accept someone else’s opinion without evidence
I’ve written a lot about owning your own opinions.. Right now I’d like to talk about NOT owning other peoples opinions.
Most of my life I’ve been busy trying to adapt to other people thought. I thought I was supposed to take criticism to heart. I failed miserably every time I attempted to change other people’s minds so I learned to change mine. My responsibility should not be a reflection of what someone else expects of me. There is only one of me. Don’t laugh and say, “ thank God,” ha!
I fully believed that the opinions of other people were more valid than my own. Have you ever done that? I was certain that somebody , well everybody, was smarter than I for only one reason: they weren’t me. I knew my faults and I judged myself by those faults. “Surely no one else thinks like I do?” I was right, most people don’t think like I do. They aren’t supposed to.
I don’t know someone else’s motivations, I don’t know their secrets. So, shouldn't I have believe myself easier than I believed someone else.?
I’ve had people, well meaning I’m sure, tell me that, “God said,” and often times it was something cruel. One lady told me that I was prideful and that’s why I couldn’t be an extrovert in church. You know what’s sad? I wondered if she was right. Was there something about me that I didn’t know that God had to use other people to tell me?
Sounds a bit wacky now, but I believed these people so I pondered their thoughts. I didn’t realize that I was given the ability to choose where to be an extrovert and where to be an introvert. Yep, there’s a time and place for everything.
No one can be defined by a sentence, a word or a phrase. Why.? Because we are as complex as the variety of shapes and sizes we come in.
I also discovered that it isn’t anyone’s job to fix me, or mine to fix them. Now that’s pride right? No. It’s the reality that God gave me , and you, authority over our own choices. You are not responsible for my decisions. I’m not responsible for your choices.
We are all accountable to authority, but think about it, we pay the people in authority to have authority or there would be chaos.
When I was a preachers daughter, then wife I felt like did not have permission to be right. Think about it. I was working at one church and there was a volunteer that was gossiping and making trouble. The Bible says that God hates gossip. Slander and innuendoes were hurting other members of the team. So I brought this information to my boss’s attention. This is a perfect example of making wrong choices.
The boss called a meeting. I’m thinking he’s going to call out the negative behavior and restore peace among the staff. What really happened shocked me. I hope it shocks you. The boss called a meeting and said ,” if you don’t like (said volunteers) actions you can leave”. So, I did.
I’d like to tell you that was a one time deal, but unfortunately it’s a sad reality. Being a preachers wife meant always saying. “I’m sorry.” Growing up as a preachers kid gave me great experience at the art of apology. It also caused me to think that everyone else was right. I didn’t have an opportunity to choose who was right or who was wrong. Wrong was my default setting when I thought of myself. I tried to explain to someone that it physically hurt to be wrong. They couldn’t understand. If you stuff your right to be right and force yourself to lie...it’s betrayal and it hurts.
It’s sad that it’s taken me so long to grow up and own my decisions. I hope that my experience will save you years of confusion. Life is a balancing act. When I’m wrong, I’ll admit it. But wrong will not be my default setting.
When another person starts judging you, know who you are. If they aren’t correct, don’t own it.
Verify your information, don’t just accept another’s opinion. Know who you are, what you are doing and why. Don’t own the voices of your critics. There are no buts in , “ Its none of my business.” .
I’ve written a lot about owning your own opinions.. Right now I’d like to talk about NOT owning other peoples opinions.
Most of my life I’ve been busy trying to adapt to other people thought. I thought I was supposed to take criticism to heart. I failed miserably every time I attempted to change other people’s minds so I learned to change mine. My responsibility should not be a reflection of what someone else expects of me. There is only one of me. Don’t laugh and say, “ thank God,” ha!
I fully believed that the opinions of other people were more valid than my own. Have you ever done that? I was certain that somebody , well everybody, was smarter than I for only one reason: they weren’t me. I knew my faults and I judged myself by those faults. “Surely no one else thinks like I do?” I was right, most people don’t think like I do. They aren’t supposed to.
I don’t know someone else’s motivations, I don’t know their secrets. So, shouldn't I have believe myself easier than I believed someone else.?
I’ve had people, well meaning I’m sure, tell me that, “God said,” and often times it was something cruel. One lady told me that I was prideful and that’s why I couldn’t be an extrovert in church. You know what’s sad? I wondered if she was right. Was there something about me that I didn’t know that God had to use other people to tell me?
Sounds a bit wacky now, but I believed these people so I pondered their thoughts. I didn’t realize that I was given the ability to choose where to be an extrovert and where to be an introvert. Yep, there’s a time and place for everything.
No one can be defined by a sentence, a word or a phrase. Why.? Because we are as complex as the variety of shapes and sizes we come in.
I also discovered that it isn’t anyone’s job to fix me, or mine to fix them. Now that’s pride right? No. It’s the reality that God gave me , and you, authority over our own choices. You are not responsible for my decisions. I’m not responsible for your choices.
We are all accountable to authority, but think about it, we pay the people in authority to have authority or there would be chaos.
When I was a preachers daughter, then wife I felt like did not have permission to be right. Think about it. I was working at one church and there was a volunteer that was gossiping and making trouble. The Bible says that God hates gossip. Slander and innuendoes were hurting other members of the team. So I brought this information to my boss’s attention. This is a perfect example of making wrong choices.
The boss called a meeting. I’m thinking he’s going to call out the negative behavior and restore peace among the staff. What really happened shocked me. I hope it shocks you. The boss called a meeting and said ,” if you don’t like (said volunteers) actions you can leave”. So, I did.
I’d like to tell you that was a one time deal, but unfortunately it’s a sad reality. Being a preachers wife meant always saying. “I’m sorry.” Growing up as a preachers kid gave me great experience at the art of apology. It also caused me to think that everyone else was right. I didn’t have an opportunity to choose who was right or who was wrong. Wrong was my default setting when I thought of myself. I tried to explain to someone that it physically hurt to be wrong. They couldn’t understand. If you stuff your right to be right and force yourself to lie...it’s betrayal and it hurts.
It’s sad that it’s taken me so long to grow up and own my decisions. I hope that my experience will save you years of confusion. Life is a balancing act. When I’m wrong, I’ll admit it. But wrong will not be my default setting.
When another person starts judging you, know who you are. If they aren’t correct, don’t own it.
Verify your information, don’t just accept another’s opinion. Know who you are, what you are doing and why. Don’t own the voices of your critics. There are no buts in , “ Its none of my business.” .
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