But that is my first name!

Well, at least there's that

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Everyone has a story to tell; welcome to mine. Barjeana...who would have thought up that name? That name alone should give you pause, it gives me pause... I never know how people are going to pronounce it. They'll wonder if I'm male or female, they'll make reference to a long lost language, they might even say it's a hillbilly name. Oh and they'll also wonder about my ethnicity. My favorite is when they ask how I got such a name? I reply with my best made up answer. "Back when they used to highly drug women during the birthing process my mother woke up, mumbled this word and someone wrote it down." My mother isn't too keen on that one. So, let's explain this mystery. How do you pronounce it? Surely those letters don't go together. I've heard it all. I was born in the 60's which was a time famous for "self expression."  My mother wanted to name me Barbara, my dad wasn't on board with that. She also promised to name me after her best friend whose name is Jeane.  So, she took the bar off of Barbara, stuck it on Jeana and burned the bra. My mother isn't too thrilled with that explanation either, but hey, it's my name. I like to say, the bar is for Barbara, the Jean is for jeans and the a is for, "what was my mother thinking?" Then comes the next part. I ask, 'Guess what my sister's name is?" With eyes wide open I pause and say, "Mary."  You should see the reaction that gets. To make things more interesting, my mother decided that my middle name should be exotic as well. So, she took my grandmother's name, Sara, and changed the a to an e and put an accent mark on it to make it French: Sare'.  Listen, you can't make this stuff up. Yes, and she did all of this at my birth. When I was taking Spanish the teacher was giving out Spanish names. He went around the room and was quite pleased until he got to me. "How do you say your name?" Oh no! Here we go again. "Do you have a middle name?"  I told him and he shrugged his shoulders, looked away and said, "You are Juanita." Really, after all the imagination my mother put into my name...Juanita. I guess I should have told him that my name was Mary; never thought of that. Another favorite experience of  mine is going to school or a Dr's office or anywhere they have to say my name without me coaching them. I wait and I listen. I wonder if they're going to try to pronounce it or if they're going to call me by my last name. Sometimes they get it right! But the wrong pronunciations can be devastating(ly funny). I once was called on the platform to receive an award. I knew it was me because what other name would you murder by saying, "Bawana"? Then there's Bar Gi Anna. Can you imagine sending your child to kindergarten with that name? I had to learn to spell it before I went to school in self defense.  The teacher tried to call my name for attendance and she paused. Then came an experience that I would live over and over and over again. Act I, some word comes rolling out of their  mouth, they get a pained look and I say... "Barjeana" to which they reply...Act II, "That's a beautiful name!" Or "That is so unique!" Inside I'm saying, "yes and you won't even name your dog after me." After saying all of that I have to tell you that I've learned to like my name. When people say it two things happen. First, I'm impressed and secondly I realize that I'm the only person in the crowd that turns around. I used to be jealous of my sister's name: Mary Charlene. No one ever gets it wrong. Then to top it off they'd say, "Mary, you look just like your mother. She's so beautiful!" "Barjeana, well you look like you." I would applaud my sister and wondered what they meant about me. Now, to make things more interesting...I moved to Oklahoma. After 55 years (as of the date of this blog) of being Barjeana, the official Oklahoma documents spelled it with an E at the end. Barjeane? What? I told them they'd spelled it wrong and they said, "look at your birth certificate." NO! There was an E! I was quite upset, I mean, it was hard enough, but now...please! My mother has filed the correct paperwork to get it fixed, but yes, It's a big deal. So began my life. I was destined to be different. I was destined to be bullied, laughed at and misunderstood. To make matters worse I had strawberry blond hair and freckles! NO!!!! Make it stop! But, at least I have the worlds best conversation piece. One last thing, when I attend a new church someone always says, "isn't that a Biblical name?" To which I reply, "No, that's Bar Joan A. Bar means "son of" and I am no one's son." We laugh and I wait to go through it all over and over again. The first person who heard my name was a nurse. She looked at my mother and said, "Honey, what did you name your baby?" My mother said, 'Barjeana." The nurse said and I quote, "Honey that child is going to kill you when she grows up!" In closing a nurse told me once that my mom had used all of her favorite names on me and had to name my sister the only name that was left: Mary! I laughed hard about that; Mary, not so much. So, welcome to my world. A world where nothing is as it seams and the answer to life's question is always, "it's complicated."

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