You got a big dog?

I have always had little dogs. Big dogs weren’t welcome inside the house and I couldn’t stand them being lonely outside. But in truth, I’m not really crazy about little dogs. Well, because I think their brains are bigger than their heads. So, to compensate they bark constantly. Come on,you know it’s true. Those little babies are cute and cuddly, but...the noise! Just a personal opinion.

So, in the midst of my divorce, not the best of times, I prayed and told the Lord that I needed three things. Coming in at number one was: a big dog. The number two contender was: a GPS.  Finally coming in third place was: a handyman that knew what he was doing and actually did the work.

Maybe all of that sounds strange to you, but I had very good reasons to be that specific. Big dog; comfort and protection. I had last lived as a single adult back in the...well, that’s just too much information.

I needed a GPS because I’m directionally challenged. Yes, I admit it. When someone tells me to go north and I’m in a valley, my response has always been, “There are mountains everywhere!” This stems from the information that mountains determine which way North is located. Well, welcome to Oklahoma! There are no mountains. People here love to give directions using the NSEW language (North, South, East and West) . All I want to know is the address. My handy dandy GPS  will do the rest.

So, besides the fact that I've always been directionally challenged our family moved over and over and over...did I mention OVER again. My x-husband was born in the last city we lived in and knew his way around. I do mean around. It seemed that we never took the same route to anywhere twice in a row. So, I really didn’t know how to get from point A to point B. Just ask one of my dear friends that lived about 10 miles from me. It took me an hour to get to her birthday party. What? It’s okay.  I own my challenges and she was very gracious.

Now for the handyman. My x-husband was not really adept at being a handyman. After all, he was a preacher. So, there were some frustrations around the house, nothing major, well, one was major, but they needed to be fixed. For example, I lived in constant frustration over laundry. Yes, laundry. Here’s why; I had a front loading washing machine and drier set. Oh how I loved that pair of machines, until they were installed in our last home together. They were placed in a small laundry room in opposite directions. So, in order to do laundry I had to squeeze into that room and juggle the washer and dryer doors. I’d have to open the washer door, get out as many clothes as I could, shut the washer door. Open the dryer door and try to shove everything in. Besides that there was the problem of balancing the machines. So, neither door would stay open very long. So, as you can imagine this was a source of constant frustration.

Now, my x-husband did like projects. He once dug me a pond and installed a bridge going from one side of the lawn to a beautiful gazebo.\: it was gorgeous. But then the pond started leaking.  Yes, leaking. The fish were running out of water and my poor pond was drying up. But, hey that’s okay, my x-husband just knew he had the right sealant for the job: Carpet glue! Well, it made sense, I guess? It was perfect...until it rained. I went outside to enjoy my gazebo and all the fish were dead. Death by toxic carpet glue. He, the kids and I have had quite a few laughs about that one.

Our last home was absolutely beautiful. It had crown molding, trey ceilings and a “to die for” staircase. Yes, I do watch HGTV.

Well one day there was a leak in the upstairs bathroom, so my x-husband tried to fix it. When you aren't a handyman things make sense to you that might not make sense to someone else. So, he drilled a hole in the trey ceiling to let the water drain. Nope, you can’t make this stuff up. It didn’t fix the problem, but it gave the leak a place to drain... right down to my hardwood floors on the first story.  What?

So much more to that story, but anyway, when I woke up from the shock of impending divorce I realized I needed a handyman. The Lord is good and he helped me find one. Thankfully he’d been a builder and knew what to do.

After he got through laughing he switched the washer and dryer, installed a shut off valve in the upstairs bathroom and repaired my beautiful trey ceiling. He was really good because no one could tell where the hole had been.

So, back to my first request; a big dog. Well I had a dear friend that ran a rescue ranch. She kept animals there until they could find good homes. There was always a variety of animals on the property.

One summer's evening she had a cook out...my favorite! Up comes this beautiful Australian Shepherd. He was underweight and full of fleas and afraid of everything. I took one look at him and said, “ That’s my dog!” The next day I came back and gave him multiple flea baths and took him home. He needed me and I needed him.

He’d apparently been left in a crate too long and he could barely walk. I don’t understand how people can treat helpless animals in that way, but I digress.

As I mentioned earlier he was afraid of everything. When I brought him home he tried to hide under the back seat of the car. There was no place to hide a big dog in that car. I think he decided that if he couldn’t see you, you couldn’t see him?

Now, he’s SUPERDOG. He’s very protective. Anytime a plastic bag crosses in front of my house he goes into full protector mode. People have asked me, “ how many dogs do you have in that house? “ to which I proudly reply, “ just one.”

He likes to play a  game with people that try to get close to me. First he gets between them and I until he feels confidant that I am safe. Then, he, not so politely, sits on their feet so he knows where they are at all times. It's a wonderful experience! Especially knowing the condition he was in when I brought him home.

Much has changed for Lincoln and I since then. We moved away from the trey ceiling house into a smaller house. He decided that he was my best friend and needed to be with me all the time. We've traveled, using my ever reliable (sometimes not) GPS and he's interrogated every handyman that has stepped foot into my door.

So, my prayers were answered, problems solved and I was free to RULE THE WORLD!

May all your dreams come true even in the midst of your worst nightmares.