Well, at least there’s that...

Everyone has a story to tell; welcome to mine. Barjeana...who would have thought up that name? That name alone should give you pause, it gives me pause... I never know how people are going to pronounce it. Before they meet me they'll wonder if I'm male or female or they'll make reference to a long lost language or they might even say it's a hillbilly name. I once had a "sophisticated man" say that my name had to have been hillbilly! I looked at him and said, "Dude, I'm from California!" Oh and they'll also wonder about my ethnicity. My favorite question is when they ask how I got such a name? I reply with my best made up answer. "Back when they used to highly drug women during the birthing process my mother woke up, mumbled this word and someone wrote it down." My mother isn't too keen on that one. So, let's explain this mystery. How do you pronounce it? Surely those letters don't go together. I've heard it all....

I want to thank all of the people that have helped me through some very dark times. Hero's are people that do something good for you without expecting a reward. However, if they didn't step up you might not still be here. I have outlived my expiration date by 16 years. I am a cancer conqueror. I used to say survivor, because there have been times when survive was all I could do. But the fact that I'm sitting here writing this blog shows that I have conquered it thus far. So, about sixteen years ago I kept going to the Dr. to tell him that I didn't feel well. My stomach hurt and was getting bigger. He gave me antacids and told me to watch what I ate. Well, that didn't make any difference. Now remember, these are my memories. I can only account for what I remember. I was vigilant and kept returning. There was unusual bruising and my stomach got so big that I could not sit up by myself. I looked and felt like I was nine months pregnant, but I wasn't. I kept t...

Who knew there were rules to blogging? I mean don't you just talk from your heart or head remembering experiences or talking about things you've learned? I've journalled for years. I didn't have to edit my thoughts. Good, bad or indifferent they were my thoughts. There was one key factor that I didn't realize: People read blogs, they don't read journals. I once joked with my kids about burning my journals, but then I went back to read them and nope I couldn't read my own handwriting. When you journal you basically write about how you feel about something at that particular moment with disregard for anyone else's feelings. Journalling is very personal as it should be. Blogging however is a different animal entirely. I found out that my kids were reading my blog, my sister was reading it and my x-husband was reading it. So, what I was writing in jest wasn't so funny to them. I have since apologized and hope that my future writings will convey...

We all have good days and bad days. Some days we feel like we’re on top of the world and all is well. Unfortunately those days don’t last very long. I’ve had moments in my life where I felt like God and I were standing side by side and could win any battle come hell or high water.  Not like I was His equal, just like He was absolutely with me. Some of those moments happened when I sang or played the piano. I remember one particular time when I was singing in Texas. The auditorium was filled. I didn’t need a microphone, the song just seemed to float from the bottom of my toes and out of my mouth. Not a moment of hesitation, not an ounce of fear, it was like magic. I sang “Climb Every Mountain”, from the musical, .” The Sound of Music”.  I was singing to a group of people being being inducted into “Phi Theta Kappa”. They were about to embark on the road to their future. I had arranged the song so that every word was relevant. I was admonishing them to capture and follow thei...

Surely you’ve been to a grocery store where they asked, “ paper or plastic?” We don’t hear that question as much anymore. Being vaguely environmentally friendly I ask for paper. Yes, but the trees! I hear you, but the earth has known what to do with trees from the beginning. While I’m on the random topic of recycling, let’s talk about Margarine... I  heard that it’s only one molecule away from plastic. Human bodies do not know how to process plastic. Animals won’t eat it. I had a friend do an experiment. She put margarine on her balcony. Animals, not even ants would eat it. She put out butter and any animal or bug that liked milk or salt they ate it. Be careful what you put into your body...ok healthy preaching is over... The idea that plastic is recyclable is questionable. Have you ever picked up that one plastic bag that has been "recycled" one too many times and it falls apart? Anyway, back to my story. Growing up I loved the smell of incense. It was like magic....

There is a time for sadness and sorrow. There is a time for sorrow  beyond words. There is a time when you can’t fake  a smile. There is a time when laughter will not come. There is a time when your dreams cause others discomfort. Sometimes you feel like no one is for you and you are doomed to be misunderstood. When that time comes hold fast to your dreams. They must matter or you wouldn’t be feeling this way. Sing loud your song, let your voice be heard, do not go silent. Do not conform or be bullied. When you lose your dreams or give them up for someone else.. .you have really lost everything; You have lost you! So, if you are facing one of those days today....hold  on... laughter will return. It must!